its not a wind-up love, I really think like this.

its a 98. or. is it in fact a very obvious 42

2011-05-11T14:00:00.000-07:00

well its 10 years to the day that douglas adams died. He is one of my hero's and the hitch hiker books remain my favourite books. i've read them close to ten times and know them pretty much back to front. i've read everything he ever published and the 3 biographies of him and his works. i could talk for pages and pages about how important his work has been, personaly and on a somewhat larger scale. his life is absolutely fascinating and speaks to myself and countless others i'm sure. for one reason which is that he never wanted to be a writer, and infact didn't enjoy the process much of the time. he wanted to perform to begin with and to make films, he kindof...just ended up as a writer. like he was cornered and coudnt go anywhere else. that certainly isn't to detract from his achievments which were considerable and i don't mean to say that he failed himself. that isn't how he felt about it, he was extremely happy about many of his creations.

anyway, to celebrate his memory and life i read a the first few chapters from life, the univers, and everything. these are some of my absolute favourite hitch hikers moments. simply because of the way arthur and fords relationship is portrayed, i think it is a very good definition for how there relationship works all through the books, here it is fully typed by hand-

‘I may,’ he added with a grin which would have sent sane men scampering into trees, ‘have been imagining it.’ He waited for a reaction from Arthur, but Arthur knew better than that.
‘Carry on,’ he said evenly.
‘The point is, you see,’ said Ford,’ that there is no point driving yourself mad trying to stop yourself going mad. You might just as well give in and save your sanity for later.’
‘And this is you sane again, is it?’ said Arthur. ‘I ask merely for information.’
‘I went to Africa,’ said Ford.
‘Yes?’
‘Yes.’
‘What was that like?’
‘And this is your cave is it?’ said Ford.
‘Er, yes,’ said Arthur. He felf very strange. After nearly four years of isolation he was so relieved to see Ford that he could almost cry. Ford was, on the other hand, an almost immediately annoying person.
‘Very nice,’ said Ford, in reference to Arthur’s cave. ‘You must hate it.’

as much as arthur is relieved to see foord, he is an almost immediatley annoying person ha ha ha. the next bit where they shake hands is just really really touching and sweet and then they chase a chesterfield sofa across the field. arthur giving a whoop of joy. the way douglas describes this scene is excellent as in 'don't panic' by neil gaiman. douglas talks about the process of getting them from prehistoric england to modern day earth (which was obviously destroyed very early on) in such a way that you sort of don't question it. it happens gradualy, and gets weirder as igoes along so that it seems perfectly reasonable and satisfactory.
he was such a fucking awesome and fantasticaly clever man, i feel privaleged to have books like his that i can read and re-read at my leisure.

towel day is on the 25th of may, so you strags best all know where they are.

blogs, don't to me about blogs, i hate them.

many thanks douglas,

love elrossiter x

shut that door ya lettin 'draft in, ya daft 97. or. i never could get the hang of thursdays

2011-04-14T04:53:00.000-07:00

just so you aaaaaall know, it was a truly amazing weekend indeedio!! good times were had by all and all had a good time. apart from a slight tree incident...but that wasn't a major issue. sheffield is as groovy as ever and so are the peoples therein. i massively overslept this mornin, no time for coffee or shower or owt, there could be only one possible reason-today must be a thursday, i never could get the hang of thursdays.

i'm currently re-reading dracula, i dont' know if i've already mentioned this. it came from re'reading frankenstein in preperation to seeing danny boyls new play. in reading both of them it is apparent how much of the books i had forgotten, though it had been many years since the first readings. i remebered enjoying frankenstein a good deal more, and certanily i very much enjoyed it the second time around-maybe i'll go into it more another time. dracula seems to be a little thicker if that makes sense, it takes longer for the story to progress and for them to bluntly, get on with it. but i have found that i am enjoying it while i was expecting to get bogged down with it. i think because i am quite a bit older and better read now that i am enjoying the language and wordplay whereas before i just found it tedious. its interesting what the passage of time does to us. i've got about a third of the book left and am looking forward to the unfolding of the final acts. although,
**SPOILER CITY** i've just read the bit where miss mina has obviously been bitten by the count for the first time, yet after everything thats happened, she hasn't twigged!! alright so i know that he has many devious and cunning abilitys, mind control and stuff but still, its just a bit annoying ya know?

consequently perhaps, i've also been watching some supernatural films and television....next blog perhaps.

bangers and mash for me and the mrs tonight, get in!

brought to you by vampires,
monsters
and mind mangling thursdays

elrossiter x

its a 96'er of a blog. or. or jus a couple o'rambles really.

2011-04-07T05:10:00.000-07:00

i'm trying to find a 'what i'm reading' type tool to add to the ole page-soon hopefully. so for the moment i'll do it in the basic form of telling you here. i'm re-reading dracula and a third of the way through its largely evident i've forgtten a fair bit of it. i'm really enjoying it actualy, though i seem to think it may get slightly tiresome a bit later. i'm at the stage where mister van helsing has arrived on the seen and has seen how queer the puncture marks are on miss mina's neck, oooo.

i also wanted to put something straight for anyone who has read this blog for a while (do you exist...really? i'm sure you do ha ha ha) or who has gone back to post 69 where i state my personal involvement with another blogger. the personal involvement which i just mentioned has come to a deffinitive end!! no rebirths or coming back from the dead or sequels-KAPUTT!! many many many many months ago actualy but i've only just thought to address is so there you go gentle ppeopls. lets put it away forever and ever **rubs hands together in a cleansing moving on manner**

i also re-read frankenstein recently which is just one hell of a book. i'm not sure its something i can go into great depth at the moment but i'm sure i will at some point as me and the mrs recently saw a screening of danny boyles recent play....and it was just stunning, completely blew us away. just stunning.

massively looking forward to an awesome weeken with some of the best people in my life. thats it for the moment.

brought to you some things.
and other things
and frankenstein.

elrossiter x x x x

happy new april. or. about bleedin time

2011-04-02T13:49:00.000-07:00

i think the only real reason i stearted this blog was becasuse i havent done one for mooooooonths..

works gettin me down a bit, i need to break free and go somewhere amazing if only i could figure out where that was. i'm home alone on satdi night havin a drinky and creating a playlist on we7 entitled 'p beat times', i'm up to 'eels', goddamn right its a beautiful day and all that. i'm not being at all methodiical, just randomly goin through bands and artists picking tracks that are-would you fuckin believe it, upbeat... and you know, make me wanna move about and sing and all that. havent done the smiths yet, best get on it.....alrighty so i just added the smiths though i think i forgot the queen is deed (i'll get to it).
onto the undertones, musn't forget my perfect cousin, already got 'you've got my number (why don't you use it)' love that tune.
anyway thats all a smoke screen for my real life. as i think i vaguely mentioned, i'm gettin massively restless, bein stuck in the studio all week is gettin to me a bit. don't get me wrong, its far from a hellish life, working life i mean. outside of work being with my girlfriend isthe happiest i could want to be, i'm lookin at these pictures that we got from bristol zoo-tourist jobbies but still brilliant, i love them. all iwant to do is be with her, i feel we could be unstoppable together, catastrophic disasters aside-we will be if i have anything to do with it!

enough of my reqal life. gone back to listen to the bunnymen. its been hours since i started this bloody blog...other stuff-
saw the new trailer for green lantern, it looks absolutely brilliant. look forward to seein it. i'm also very much interested in seeing thor, captain america and subsequently the avengers. so far i thin the newest marvel films have been ace. iron mans and incredible hulk i thought were really well done comic book films and i hope to buggery that the trend will continue. particularly i hope they don't fuck up the hulk in the avengers. i thought that edward norton did a top job acting wise-shame he was such a massive dousche fest off screen! i thought i would be pretty drunk as this stage, what with haigving drunk this much spirit **note from elrossiter (this is far from a regular occurence for elrossiter) but i seem to be oreight-though i might discover this in a few days and it'll turn out i've written 15 thousand words about merlin the happy pig ha ha ha ha.

me and the mrs went to see a screening of danny boyles frankenstein the other monday in the lovely place of hereford. needless to say it was incredible. he completletely captured the essence of the book, the morality, the emotion, the feel that mary shelley portraid. he changed some details and some of the relationships but hey, when something is adapted from one media to another it is surely nessesary. i had no crittisims whatsoever, mr boyle has achieved something truly brilliant and as far as i am aware-no one else has done anything half as as good with the original book, loved it! i re-read the book just before seeing the screening and really is just so wonderful and clever. the way victor frankenstein creates the creature into a massive form, and so, it/he has massive emotions to reflect his huge stature/being. he is first of all full of love and hope and wonder at life and the world around him. the first summer breeze and heat makes him gush with happiness, he truly exults in natures beauty and her ways. but ofcourse mankind despises and abbhors him, even when he does does good and saves a childs life, they/we, see only a wretched monster. hey ho and so he turns to evil and all that. er... danny boyle did an awesome job is all i'm tryin to say. i need to finish this blog, it should have some pictures really. i nearly forget the queen is deeeeed, doin it know.

thanks,
elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x x

yes hello again, hello. or happy new 84

2011-01-19T05:07:00.000-08:00

yes i'm fully aware of rubbish none blogging and yes i'm fully aware of the bunnymen promices i have made. the bunnymen blog will come...just not today....but hang tight people. oh i dunno, i had so much to say but now i'm struggling to put it into some vaguely comprehensible format.

crazy things are as usual a-foot, not least of all the follow up to crazy office shenanigans, which put simply involved about a month of not very much followed abruptly by MUCH SIR!! yes indeedy things have turned most very interesting and will 'touch wood' work out very nicely ;)

good times are being had via my bass guitar, for she is getting a lot of use and i seem to be getting through strings at an alarming rate! bass strings are practicaly indestructable....i must just be hammering them still and not realise it, though i'm now using a softer plectrum. they must just be shite strings, its the only plausible explanation really.
songs i am currently playing are-

the bunnymen: do it clean, show of strength and the killing moon.
arctic monkeys: fake tales of san fran

i'm reading pillars of the earth by ken follett which was gifted to me from my brother.
watching supernatural and doctor who, the matt smith years
and listening to the cure

brought to you by zi bass,
exciting things,
and other things

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x

and now radio 6 is playin the buzzcocks 93. or. one guess which track it is. . .

2010-12-06T05:01:00.000-08:00

this is all incredibly strange ocourse and i'm not convinced i know what to do with it. i suppose thats what happens when your part of these crazy office shenanigans/scandals/impulvise things with colleagues your very close with. oh i'm really not sure whats goin on or what she's thinking....i mean i think we're basicaly gonna be alright but it seems like it may be a bit of a strangled path towards that point. or it might not, its complicated by the fact that i'm still pretty friggin knackerd from the weekend and got minimal sleep last night-sleep just wasnt happnin. i don't think she wants to go to that place but then again does she-I DONT KNOW i dont know i dont know i dont knoooow....i think we're gonna go for a drink and a lovely none awkward none complicated none difficult chat one evenin. hopefully to buggery i'll have been able to sleep before then. oh i dunno man, just part of life i spose.

-next blog

*ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN BLOGTACULAR*

elrossiter x

what am i gonna do what am i gonna do what am i gonna do what am i gonna do 92. or. will things just go back to normal?

2010-12-04T16:08:00.000-08:00

what am i gonna do?? what am i gonna do what am i gonna do what am i gonna do what am i gonna do what am i gonna do what am i gonna do? ? ? i dunno what i'm gonna do really......i suspect i'll make it up as i go along. life should be so much simpler than this i think. but its not obviously, so what am i gonna do then

elrossiter x

waitin up here 91. or we're gonna see im we are

2010-11-20T16:22:00.000-08:00

in december at leamington spa ;)

elrossiter x

hmm, good gravy 90. or. some people like to do special blog posts at certain chronological junctures

2010-11-14T12:10:00.000-08:00

is it wrong to drink gravy out of a mug with a spoon?? this's the mug you used to pour the gravy onto your tea.

brought to you by pie mash broccoli and gravy baby,
souljacker by eels,
pulling mussels from the shell by squeeze,

elrossiter x

theres always fucking something 89! ! ! or. new musics fantabulousness

2010-11-13T10:57:00.000-08:00

oh fuckinell seriously!! (tune out if you aint interested in a yorkshiremen ranting)

first off orange fucked me off by being utterly useless incompetent dickead pricks. i still don't know if they've got it right after fucking up my extortianate bill. BT fucked me off days earlier with a bill that is both bullshit and surely fictional, i'm gonna haveto fone the dickeads to sort it out which means adding to said orange extortionateness. the bank havent fucked me over any more than usual recently-which means i'm probly due one.
bottom line as always is that there all MASSIVE KWONTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! caps lock abuse and smashing my keyboard keys as i type-YOUR DAMN STRAIGHT!!! why must they all fuck with my life??!!
and worst of all to top it off, my tea decided to chuck itself all over the floor :( sad emoticon. i had the washing machine on, which is next to the oven, the washing machine for part of the cycle vibrates quite intensly and melodramaticaly. so the pan of sausages red onion and lots of lovely potatoes was edging towards cliff edge of the oven. i don't know what was going through its commulative mind, 'making a bid for freedom'? or simply part of a 'lets screw the bearded tennat over bwahahaha' plan. i heard it clatter while i was away in front of the fire (cos its bloody freezing) but managed to salvage some of it. bastards!! anyway.......

new musics baby!! during my satdi explorations to kings heath in birmingham i got me some new music. one of the boozers was having this bar top sale 'thingymabobbby' which was car boot type thing in the back rooms of a boozer. so for the fucking fantabulous price of five squid i got the following-
new boots and panties by Ian dury and the blockheads,
aouljacker by Eels,
the greatest hits by Squeeze (god i love cool for cats)
and the first self titled album by the Coral.

all of em for £5-stunning, at another time i would have paid 5 squid for new boots and panties, i've listened to most of em and there brilliant, i'll well happpy. the blockheads are playing as we're speaking. on my explorations i also visited some charity shops which is one of my favourite ways to chill out, unwind and purchase some great finds. todays find was the book 'Rama 2' by arthur c clark. i read 'Rendevous with rama' a few months ago and thought it was a cool book and very well written, there wasn't much revelation at the end though, no 'holy shit', 'thats fuckin brilliant' moments. but now we have a second book which i didnt know existed so hopefully-cue revelations and momentous shocking announcements ha ha. i know he's capable of them-see 'childhoods end'.

and just so we don't forget

brought to you ian dury and the blockheads
rant baby rant
arthur c

elrositer x x x x x x x x x x x x x

88 ti eighty teight ti. or. simple things

2010-11-03T15:12:00.000-07:00

thats all i wanted to say.

thanks.

elrossiter x x x x x

i cant shake this feeling 87. or. too much computer time sundi.

2010-10-31T16:18:00.000-07:00

okay so i'm posting another youtube music video. now i'm very conscious that shoving these at people too much is not good. but i always feel that i'm doing it legitimatly and not just for the sake of it.
this song evokes great and powerful and very real emotions in me and i just want it to be part of my blog, to be there as i feel that it should. i'm also conscious that its my bloody blog and no fucker else will probably see it ha ha ha, which is fine. and hey if they (that would be you fair reader) do then i hope they will listen and maybe get an idea of why i think this is so deserving of post.
and god i'd bloody love to see them live!

thank you.

brought to you by tram line and camping reminiscinse's,
and what have you

elrossiter x x x x x x

theres too many kings wanna hold you down 86. or. furry psychedelic excellent'ness

2010-10-29T16:11:00.000-07:00

hello!

i went to see the 'psychedelic furs' on wednesday in lovely birmingham itself-they were fucking excellent, absolutely fucking excellent!!
they sound good on record but are massively better live, richard buttlers voice is incredible, the bloke coudnt stand still ha ha, gesticulating all over the place and having a great time

the sound in the HMV institute was perfect too, i had a great time despite being on my billy no mates! i'm massively back into gigging-so many bands i wanto se! motorhead next i think-for like the 4th or 5th time ;)

brought to you by the furs psychedelic,
the beautiful wedding i've just been to,
those wonderful people that keep me sane,

elrossiter x x x x x x xx x

85 an is it possible i have an actual connection. or. #gasp# well fuck me!

2010-09-30T00:50:00.000-07:00

oh aye the engineer actualy rocked up when ee was sposed to. so theres a genuine possibility i'll actually resume bein a blogger and will once again be-

with a shit ton of love from elrossiter x x

its an 84 alan partridge time blog. or. we're all still here somewhere

2010-09-08T00:50:00.000-07:00

had me an alan partridge dream type thing. it could have been a lost episode or something it was well good! he was sort of working in a pub but it was still in the style of the travelodge in which he lived, you do see him at the bar actualy in the program. yeah so he was working there and just being alan partridgy but a bit more depserate and stuff. swearing unexpectadly and doing his incredible cringe inducing flirting. funny stuff. properly like watching an episode though as i was not present at all and it wasn't as if i was living the role of alan.

funny shit. went camping to wales during the banh holliday just gone, barmouth on the edge of snowdonia on the coast. fecking beautiful place, much good times were had. went in the sea and did some rock pooling which i always love, found lots of groovy little cretures incliding some little shrimpy guys which gave me a pedicure when i stood still in the water in a particularly populated community. was awesome, can't wait to get my pictures back!

thats all for now. life continues to have its amazing bits and not so amazing bits, the weekend just gone was one of the amazing bits baby.

brought to you by aaaaahhh hhaaaaaaaaaa,
groovy visitors,
shrimp dudes,
missing lauren,
etc.

elrossiter x x x x

you have the face of a duck. or. its an 83 it is.

2010-08-23T04:51:00.000-07:00

very melancholic today. melancholic mondi. had a decent enough weekend, yesterday was a lush chill fest. just apprehensive about the upcoming weekend i spose, hey-ho, worrying about ut obv doesnt help but what can you do.

reading the star maker by olaf stapleton-look it up! best cover ever man.

good book too. think thats it fer now. guess i just wanted to say hello.

elrossiter x x x

stuff has been a'foot baby. or. 82 it is, shall be and sooner or later, was.

2010-08-18T04:49:00.000-07:00

where has elrossiter been then. exactly. then? well i'm afraid i have been without the internets for some time now. but i do intend to plan on seriously thinmking about getting myself hooked up shortly after the next payday.

i have found myself a nice flat. yeah baby, i have my own flat. good times. this is my fifth week now. my furnishing though, is not complete. though i have a chair and all my stuff (nearly) i need to aquire for myself a two seater sofa type arrangement, a toaster, more shelfy cupbordy type things, some little kitchen storage stuff and more utensil things. i have a nice bed but i wish to get a slightly smaller one that will slot into the alcove and thus give me more floor space. and other various odds and sods.
but the flat is very groovy and i'm nicely comfortable there. it is the top floor of an old victorian house and has two flats below me. it is fairly spaceous with nice carpets in the lounge which are good for sitting on and funky ceilings with mad panneling. birminghams groovy! will do some more exploring this weekend (as i'll actualy be here)

lots has occured. tramlines was fucking brilliant and involved focus, lemon teargas, the busker bus which was fucking hillarious! annie mac and some of the 'ask' crew (one of the lovely newbies inparticular-good times) the deutschmarks, running around with my photography pass, excellent trips to ecclesfield. and to top it off- ECHO AND THE BUNNYMEN BABY!! HELL YEAH! they were absofuckinglutely incredible! i had an 'unbearable lightness of being' moment-pretty much all the way through. i had the best time, i really did. and Richard hawley coming out for the last tune off the encour was just almost more than i could handle! the sly mother fucker ha ha ha. one of the guys from the bunnymen had been on radio 6 earlier in the week and he mentioned the possibility of it in the future but i honestly wasnt expecting it. just......good times, they did 'waiting for my man' ha ha ha.

so er.. yeah. works alright, getting on fine. birminghams groovy. done this and that etc. read some good sci fi, rewatching series one of 'being human' which is my new favourite series. gonna see the divine comedy in a few weeks here in birmingham-can't wait, neal hannon is brilliant. lots of stuff.

thats it for now. don't know when 83 will occur, just don't know.

in a bit.

brought to you by another life,
da brilliant bunnymen,
the lovely people i've been getting to know,
star maker,
and the fantabulous laren laverne-we love ya baby.

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x x

birmingham. fashion photographer 81. or. i'm going to/ . to be a/ .

2010-07-06T17:23:00.000-07:00

yes indeedy doody. ole elrossiter is off to start a new life in the exciting city of birmingham as a fashion photographer. yes. ia am. yes. i start on monday the 12th of july. yes!
onwards and upwards baby!! yes this is the latest crazy twist in my turny life and boy is it a big one. i'll be doing photography for a living, anything is possible from here-the sky's the limit if i apply myself and want it enough. and i'm moving citys for the second time. under completely different circumstances ofcourse, this time i'll be operating without a safety net. hjopefully i'll have more flat viewings booked in for this friday. did i mention i havent found anywhere to live yet, i didnt! shit. yeah i'll be crashing at my brothers for a bit and commuting the rest until i've found a beautiful gaff of my own.
moseleys such a fantastic place though, honestly man its lovely and leafey and chilled out. brilliant place to live. i've two more shifts left at the restaurant i'm currently inhabiting, i'm not particularly sad about leaving as nearly all of the amazing people i've come to know and love have already moved on. except for the one adventuring in america though we're not sure what she'll be doing when she gets back. i do miss them though, such amazing, vibrant people really!!

bloody ell yeah, big things. i'll well happy but i'll feel better when i'm settled into my new place. looking forward to the divine comedy at the moseley folk festival. not to mention the bunnymen at tramlines!

all in all-good times.

brought to you by exciting things,
new job,
new city,
new life.

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x

after this mahoosive interlude......back to your regularly scheduled bullshit x

2010-07-03T19:46:00.000-07:00

this coffee tastes like shit! a customer said to me today.

i'm still here 79. or. she stroked a kitten in her lap thursdi

2010-04-08T14:34:00.000-07:00

yeah i've been a slack blogger of late, we'll all just have to live with it i spose.

i will probly ramble and make little sense (so whats fucking new exactly) this is due to the fact that its been a rough bloody 3 weeks or so! but this man and his lovely bad seeds have helped-

i was looking for the proper studio video but all the embedding has denied scrawled all over itso i came upon this live video which is actually better in some ways. it has great sound and shows how much he puts into the gigs-which i've heard are fucking good! but with music that is so massively personal the gigs can be nothing but. you can see above how the audience are watching ole matey boy nick wearing his heart on his sleeve. i'd LOVE to see them man. so i've been listenin mostly to the 'no more shall we part' and 'let love in' albums on good ole 'WE7' as weel as bowies 'low' album which has very strong feelings and memories for me! go on an ask me why!

also i'm thinkin an hopin in some respects that i'll get a job that will involve some typing computery skills in the near future. so this is practice right? RIGHT?? i know you computer pixie people all agree with me, your silence is testament to that.

best thing on the telly at the moment 'wonders of the solar system' hosted by the fantastic professor brian cox!! ask me what i've learnt i dare you. to be fair-don't bother. i'll dedicate a full blog to it as its that genius!

and new doctor who. i thought the first epp was LUSH! and matt smith will be a brilliant doctor.

so much has beem goin on in the recent past that i can't put any of it down....in the future prehaps.

brought to you by 'as she stokes a kitten in her lap'
fish custard,
some crazy emotional times,
the good professor,

elrossiter x x

you know that feeling when.....or. 78 it is an'all

2010-03-22T17:37:00.000-07:00

when you've put your bread into the toaster, set it to three (ha ha ha) and your waiting for it to pop up. your suddenly utterly lost in thoughts, stood right in front of your toaster, you fancy some jam, good ole toast and jam. its late and the house is silent, you've had a busy day, so much goin on and so much to think about and then you shit yourself as the toast pops up!! your entire upper body spasms at the sound of the mechanism rushing the toasted bread up towards you-ready to be buttered and jammed and eaten greedily.
then you calm yourself and get on with it ha ha-its not just me is it?! TELL ME SOMEONE ELSE KNOWS OF WHAT I SPEAK??!!?

brought to you by that quaint annalogy,
6th wife made out of jam,
possible fussball playing tomorra,
war of the worlds and phill lynot

elrossiter x x x x x x

i've been holdin onto this for at least a week yo 77. or. jessica hynes is ace.

2010-03-11T12:16:00.000-08:00

A physicist gets pulled over for speeding. He rolls down the window.

"Excuse me sir, do you know how fast you were going?" asks the policeman.

"No, but I do know exactly where I am!"

ha ha ha ha i think thats genius and as the header explains-its been in me for a short while now.
its satdi neet an i'm home alone! BAH RUBBISH BOLLOCKS CRAP DEPRESSIN!!
'your poppin your clutch' heard seconds ago via jeff bridges on the telly half a foot away from me but facing in an entirely different direction from my face- 'so's i can watch der telly box in bed like. an its not the big lebowski (mi third favourite film ever) its 'stick it' which i've never seen nor knew it were on or had the telly on for it. it came on after 'LIZZIE AND SARAH' which was why i had the telly on anyway. this was a pilot by jessica hynes and julia davies. and it was lush!! dark comedy, like that catherine tate show meets . it was cool and groovy and i was very impressed, top acting but great writing. it managed to be shockingly dark and very descriptive of parts of modernish society but it wasnt typical or obvious-not at all! like other people would have been more cautious and wary in regards to some of the subject matter. muchly enjoyed and was happily shocked! plus jessicas hynes is FREAKING LEGEND YO!!

ere she is ;)

and as mrs doctor...sort of. HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE HER??

goodnight guys.

brought to you by some good programming,
ramones,
the historian (novel)
nick cave and his bad seeds,

elrossiter x x x x x

crazy wonderfull planets 76 baby! or. this time tomorra i'll be chillin in the big smoke

2010-03-10T08:03:00.000-08:00

my new favourite website learned me this-

two white dwarf stars have been discovered that revolve around each other in a mere 5.4 minutes!! thats crazy man. the full scoop is over yonder.
cool and groovy i think.

and my favourite new cool and groovy site is io9 which is all about science fact and fiction, comics and literature, film and television, technology, jam, people and all sorts of fun stuff and geekery! have a butchers, you'll like it honestly.

off to the big smoke in the early mornings for good times BABY!!!

been having a big ole listen to 'soundgarden' and 'pearl jam' an i'm gettin into them like. embracing my grunge if you will, so thats good. okay then, think i'll leave you to munch on that nourishing goodness with a pearl jammin oral and visual spectacular-

i believe matey boy todd macfarlane was behind this unless i've lost my marbles completely.

brought to you by learning fun,
spoonman,
evolutuion baby

elrossiter from the future x x x x x x x x x

because i think we all need it mondi 75. or. its late again, past mi bedtime, 7th wife made out of jam

2010-03-08T17:11:00.000-08:00

lets face it, this's always welcome and aint hurtin no bloody one!!! okay so i've been a bit of a misserable barstard today and I NEED IT OKAY!!?? deal with it.
he's a fuckin legend-you know this to be true.

my hero.

good night

brout to you by the locked up presbitarians,
ein minuten bitter,
5th wife into outter space ha ha ha ha

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x

also i nearly forgot 74. or. i should in bed by this time-whats your point

2010-03-06T17:41:00.000-08:00

as i forgot to mention this in the last eddie izzard spectacular fest!! here it is-

over the years theres been lots and lots of speculation about eddie izzard becoming the famous doctor (of who) which has offcourse yet failed to happen. and yaknow, people have been like, 'yeah that'd be fuckin reight good that would' sort of thing! but now after everything Mr izzard has accomplished and how generally amazing he is a person believe that people have got it wrong ha ha yes!! it is in fact the doctor who wishes he was eddie izzard oh yes sir it is! the doctor never ran no 43 marathons in 51 days, okay he is pretty spectacular.....lets call it a draw and be with it.

it's late i must surely be hallucinating this blog

brought to you by just talking stuff,
as you see fit,
jam,

elrossiter x x x x x x x x

a tribute to the greatest man that ever lived, Mr Eddie Izzard. or. 73 i'm covered IN BEEEEEEES!!!

2010-03-06T14:27:00.000-08:00

if you don't know who eddie izzard is, then i will only forgive you if you follow this- cheeky little link and spend some time catching up!! if five minutes into it you haven't begun to fall in love with him...........then i can't help you, stop reading.

the man ran 43 marathons in 51 days! thats more than 1110 miles for crying out loud! most professional athletes wouldn't dare attempt something so unbelievable. and offcourse it was all for charity, see (read) 'SPORT RELIEF' talk about it. seriously!! the man is a modern day hero. he'd had no training, never ran a marathon before, didnt play footy at school or anythin. plus the man survived a plane crash ha ha ha.

for jeezy creezy's sake watch the first part of the adventure PLEASE!!

he was pretty legendary way before any of this, he's an educated, clever, witty, brilliantly funny man. not to mention balls of steel! i love him, he's bloody great!!!

officail website.

uh.....did i leave the gas on??......NO..i'm a fuckin squirrel!!

brought to you by the brilliant one,
cake or death!!
thats jeff vader that is,
building a henge are we, thats a marvelous idea,

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x

the girl with the mousey hair friday. or. astronamy, sci fi an googlin 72.

2010-03-05T08:44:00.000-08:00

i think this is cool, do you think this is cool??

seriously looks like a woman to me, aint idle fantasy great?? please ignore that this comes from the evil mail! also, i thought to myself-hmm post 72 is it-i do wonder what will happen if i google '72' and this is what i found in images on the first page-

this is a picture of the remnant of a star that exploded in a nearby galaxy known as the Small Magellanic Cloud, or, E0102-72! okay so, this galaxy is approximately 190'000 light years from the earth. so we are seeing it as it was, 190'000 years ago because thats how long the light takes to get to us right. so it doesnt look like that right now, oh no, we are seeing back in time effectively. its madness! THIS is the full article here.

what else...... been listenin to lots of good tunes via we7. is good, listen to full albums with a few short adverts-ACE!! we love THE CURE ;)
i read the forever war by joe haldeman, leant to me by my wonderfull mrs

was cool and groovy, proper gettin back into the science fiction! though this novel is mostly about the warside of things and the whole futility, none sensical, brutal, pointlesslness of it all. sorta like catch 22 but based on the cold war and yaknow-sci fi! very well written and great charectorisation, plus a brilliant ending. very good. now reading 'the lovely bones' very different. then 'the historian' by elizabeth costova.

that was fun.

brought to you by the limitlessness of the cosmos,
sci fi goodness,
we7 musical goodness,
finely finding out how to do enclosure links-didja notice?

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x

whiny moany bitchy shiz. or. are you winding me up you bastard fri.

2010-03-05T07:36:00.000-08:00

first off i'll start by saying that this is one of at least two blogs i'm gonna wright 'right now'! so if you don't wanto hear someone bang on about crap that will in all likely hood not affect you....i'd wait till the next entry!

banks! robbing shitty arsed bastards!!! they change the rules half way through so now i'm being charged more than ever! i've not gone over my overdraft (until last satdi which wasnt my fault and is the source of a completely differnt bitch!) but i'm paying even more!! its fucking outragous, i do nothing wrong but they's always always something i get shafted for, i play by the rules-they change them. what the fuck!

the job centre are massive bastards too, they dick me about all the time and give me false information!! its bad enough being an unemployed bum and all that dole shiz. they tell me to do this and then this will happen, but turns out to be bullshit. i'm trying like buggery to get a job-believe me!! i fucking hate being on the dole.

also had an epic ebay fail. thats no ones fault though, its a massive sellers market and no one wanted my stuff or bought it elsewhere for 10p. its frustrating is all.

i'm done. it can go an whistle in the dark!!

brought to you by being a moaning michael,
enough

elrtossiter

seventy, big time! or. a word from our sponsors

2010-02-17T16:10:00.000-08:00

i think we can all relate to this!!

brought to you by romanian adventures,
valentines adventures,
duuuuuuune

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x

for my girlfriend 'tsunamon'. or. friday night is cure night, 69

2010-02-05T10:55:00.000-08:00

the other week i made some. . . . . weird request to my girlfriend, about blogging. she is 'tsunamon' and has a blog 'i hate to blog' by the way.! the request was that if she commented on my posts not to be, i don't know 'too over familiar' or to mention or make apparent that we are partners. i don't know what the hell i was thinking, like i was worried that people would be put off reading my blog because of it or something!!

point one-who reads this exactly (if anyone reads this post please comment ha ha)
point two-would anyone give a shit and how exactly would it affect me if they did??
point three-most importantlyy so fucking what if it did put anyone off! do i care?? no! if thats who you are why would i want you reading this. its a bit of fun and stress release and little more. its for my own sake and i enjoy it. lets not get overly serious for gods sake!

and whats more important exactly, 'possibly' discuraging some none existant web peoples or upsetting and confusing the love of my life!

okay, anyway. tsunamon, i'm really truly sorry for being stupid, inconsiderate and thoughtless! i really don't know what i was thinking and sincerely hope not to do anything like it ever again!

i'm sorry and i love you so much that it upsets me to have been anything but your loving boyfriend. and i know i've been a bit introvert with all this various stress stuff and i'm trying not ot let it affect me too much.
we'll be out for this mad thing on valentines soon and we'll have a blinder of a night and all will be fantasticzny!! so for you instead of the our usual 'friday i'm in love' heres something else-

you truly are the only one for me.

brought to you by knowing whats important,
romanian skiing which i will be doing from sunday,
robert smith

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

68 two things are massively pissing me off!!! or. today must be thurs routine

2010-02-04T09:33:00.000-08:00

first thing-banks. bunch of fucking robbing bastard deceiving gets!! i'm so pissed off!!! they can sdo what they want, change the rules half way through and charge you for something you werent originally getting charged for! and they fuck things up and get things wrong all the time! useless twats who rip you off legimately and 'by the book'!!

second thing. i'm selling a bunch of stuff on ebay. largely problem free except that i'm not sellign as much as i'd like. apart from one kwont who bought something from me using 'by it now' who won't cough up the moolah! and he's ignoring my messages after first having claimed to have paid, twat!

so i'm pissed off with those.

apart from that i'm goin skiing to romania on satdi and mi dads paying for it all as part of xmas/birthday present then i get to go to this mad thing with my mrs for valentines. i'm wearing a top hat and tails and she has a mini top hat. so thats awesome and exciting stuff!!!

brought to you by being robbed left, right and centre by bastards and twats!
rolling stones,
the incredible mrs

elrossiter x x x

human league 3PO satdi. or. are things being shit?? blog about it.

2010-01-30T07:21:00.000-08:00

so i go out this mornin (2ish) my mission is to go to the local library at darnall to print some job applications then whack em in envolopes which are addressed and ready to go. then i'm off up handsworth to the post office to send off this velvet jacket which i've sold on ebay and packed this mornin (actual mornin) and to get stamps and post the letters! i'm conscious that its satdi so i go the post office website to check openin times, put in post code, theres my post office-open till 5. so i do the library bit then catch the bus to post office, its open so i go in (natyrally) and i'm sayin 'i need to post this' to the bloke and he's noddin his head. he says its closed, the post office bit is closed, its only open for 'lottry' so i'm like 'what, really? i've been on the post office website and it says 'OPEN'. 'well shows you how much use that is' he helpfully replies! so i make one of those exhaling of breath noises that signifies your annoyance and dissapointment. 'o'right well can i bye some stamps' i say, reaching for my wallet. he's nodding his head again. 'post office is closed, all that (indicates with arm movements) is closed. its just lottry.'
i've had enough now, 'bloody ell i can't even buy stamps?!'. so i go down to asda for stamps. what a bag of shite!! the post office is open but you can't actually post anything or do anything even mildly post officey! moan over!!

to get over this massive ordeal (sarcasm yes) i've been listening to sheffields finest 'HUMAN LEAGUE' and i discoved this-

check out 3PO throwing down some shapes!

and the human league as they naturally are-

Mr oakey in the open topped car is genius ha ha. by the way he only looked like that later on there career, for classic oakey-do some investafagating!! dunno what the film is, concentrate on the tune!!

i need another cup o'tea now.

brought to you by things annoying me by being shit,
black books,
tea, human league

elrossiter x x x x x x x

i cn see's mars i can's friday. or. is it the best selling show??

2010-01-29T15:49:00.000-08:00

being able to see mars with the naked eye is absolutely fantastic!! i loves it!!

i would have taken better photographs but it was fricken cold and i was turning the house into greenland! so i decided i was happy with these!!! its MARS baby!!

brought to you by the lovely red planet itself,
Mr Bowie offcourse,
and i think-jon simm and philip glenister

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x

just gone midnight sixty five (i think) or. ouija booooard ouija boooooard, what have you done to me?

2010-01-28T16:00:00.000-08:00

Rest in Peace J. D. Salinger. You don't need me to tell you about his incredible and prolific work so i'll leave it at that.

That can of Lilt sure cheered me up, could be 6 months since i've had one! the only time i'm ever gonna enjoy grapefruit is when i'm drinkin that stuff (wether theres actual grapefruit in there or not......) i heartily look forward to my next can in 6 months time!!

why the HELL!!!! has this ''in the world of viagra'' popped up in my blogs i'm following feed??? SERIOUSLY!!?? i've never seen this blog, i've never used viagra nor ever needed to thankyou very much and why would i follow it on blogger even if i thought i might need it?? AND! there are no actual blogs there nor any information whatever! just the picture of some dousche called andrew in a suit! his profile doesnt have any blogs in it either, it says 4 profile views and i think 3 of them were from me tryin to figure this shit out!! its beyond me.....

thats it, except that morrissey is hillarious and i love him for it!

brought to you by joan sims and kathy burke,
and black books

elrossiter x x x x

i want you all to know i'm feeling depressed. or. unpresidented levels of uncertainty

2010-01-24T09:03:00.001-08:00

scientists have decided today 'sundi the 24th of january' is the most depressing day of the year. and have dubbed it 'blue monday' for fuck knows what reason frankly. what with the come down after christmas and the climate and unpresidented levels of uncertainty etc..... don't talk to me about uncertainty. prehaps ''the scientists'' should have been inventing something uselfull, like a form of self distributing grit or a cure for my bloody asthma ay!!! did they get paid for this for..... and anyway does anyone really need another reason to be told that they are depressed, i know i fucking don't!!! its sundi and i'm on my own as it is!! so thankyou very fucking much for that scientists!

(insert picture of marvin below)

i'm gonna av another cup of tea to solve this equation + a buiscuit even though its nearly tea time. this's what scientists have driven me to!

brought to you by jarvis on 6 music on sundi,
conducting research and surveys about the incredibly bleeding obvious,
life, the universe and everything radio play

elrossiter x x x x

its the end of the world sundi, oh shit. or. sixty summat, who knows.

2010-01-24T05:52:00.000-08:00

had me a post-appocalyptic type dream last night. s'true alright! i was with my dad and it was mid-way through the end of the world disaster. there was rumbling of the earth and darkening of the sky and poluting of the air and everythin really! we were trying to get some sort of survival pack/kit together so we could get the hell out. i'm not sure where we were gonna go but there was deffinately some sort of a plan. the thing was i taking like forever to get my shit together and really dithering, and boy was this really the worst time to be dithering!!
thats all i've got really i'm afraid....sorry! it was no 2012 i know, no arks or anything ha ha. no mel gibson or bruce willis. oh well. lifes like that i'm sorry to have to tell you!

i've just re'watched this-

NAUISICAA - OF THE VALLEY OF THE WIND -

its studio ghibli so already your pretty confident you will avoid dissapointment! and its all the way from 1984. and it is stunning yes, visually alone, the world it creates and the creatures within. it has all the messages about treating the world with some respepct and gratitude. you know, be a part of everything and work with nature because for god's sakes it knows what its doing!!! if theres a poisonous forest, don't burn it down, its there for a reason! and ofcourse don't be twats towards your fellow man even if they are from a foreign land and a bit different.
all that sort of stuff. nature and everything, brilliant.

anyway trust me its a beautiful, wonderfull film. and patrick stewarts in it!

brought to you by nausicaa,
stuff,
last.fm

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x

62-no significance thursdi. or. strange blogger in a strange land.

2010-01-21T13:00:00.000-08:00

do you ever get that 'feeling come sensation' where you see a shape, or shadow or movement out of the corner of your eye which dissapears when you turn to look directly at it?? i do.....all the bloody time! sometimes more oft than others. what do you reckon it is though, now thats the question i had in mind while conceiving this blog of which you are reading. is there some simple boring explanation (probably) like light reflection which dissapears when you turn your head because your perspective has shifted. or do we want to talk about somethin more interestin....well now that you mention it elrossiter mi owd mucker!

okay so is there some form of undiscovered exotic life that moves at unheard of speeds and is uber paranoid and wishes to remain out of the papers? perhaps. i mean 'we' discover new and crazier forms of life all the time don't we?? and besides in an infinite universe........ so these creatures watch and observe people (maybe other forms of life too) but when we notice them they shoot off. maybe

or maybe its the dead, ghosts or souls or somethin. that we can't perceive truly but only as a vague awareness which goes when we try to focus on it. because surely to observe these things truly would turn our minds inside out!

the most likely explanation is that its god fucking with us because he's nothing better to do with himself!! ha ha what do i know.....

this blog is being blogged to you from a theatre in that london town. i am not here to take in any wonderful dramatic dancing or interprative crazyness, but because the mrs works here and i am accompanying her while 'jobhunting etc' nothing else obviously. apart from some groovy sounds courtesy of last.fm. think we might grab a pint afterwards-which'll suit me just spiffingly sir!!

brought to you by my need for this writing words stuff,
bowie,
the gormenghast trilogy,

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x

after all these months, its mental dream time folks! or. today must be a thursday. . . .

2010-01-14T03:31:00.000-08:00

yes its true! after all these months of normal(ish) and boring dreams, a mental has been dreampt. and a dark and horrible one at that, not at all fun at the time i have to say.

so. it was all about me, my mrs and 'avatar' the location wasn't anywhere inparticular and i'm upset to say that much of the dream has slipped from my mindbox! so yeah it was me and the mrs, but i was calling her 'avatar' its not like she was blue and 15 feet tall or anything but i think she may have looked a bit different. the dream was focused around what i'm going to call an object. it was sort of a frame basically and big enough to comfortably stand under. it didnt have any sides so you could see the person within, though the mrs was the only person i saw go into the thing! and go into it she did several times. now what happened inside it was this-there were some wire, tubuell, organic tendril like thingamabobs hanging down, much like some of the 'tendril' thingamabobs from avatar, the bits that are tucked into the beings tails that emerge and are used to connect with the various beasties that they use for transport. the connecting of these tendrils creates a bond which is basically a link between the two 'beings'.
so there are these tendrils in this object and they connect (link) with the person that enters, they attach to the head area, it was kinda hazey and i think maybe they actually connect straight into the persons mind or soul! so the mrs did this several times, it had an ennormous effect on her and physically appeared to be giving her some sort of high, it was like it took her to another place entirely, i mean like it was enlightening her or raising her soul to another level or plane or some such! and its effects increased the more she used it.

the last time she used it killed her, sort of. well her body remained but like there was nothing in it. i think she achieved some sort of ascension or her soul went off some where, that kind of thing ya know. so ofcourse i was pretty devastated and spent the rest of the dream simply being devastated and distraught in varying locations.
cheery or what?? but don't you go worrying folks, for i have spoken with and indeed physically seen (via that skype) the mrs this very day and she is well and experienced no such ascension shennanigans whatsoever!

so that was that.

i'm excited about iron man 2 and the next 'dresden files' book-'changes'. both out in april!! anyone else excited??

brought to you by all sorts of things really,
the amount of tea i drink when i don't leave the house all day,
just stuff really

elrossiter x x x x x

double whammy anniversary festo tuesday! or 60 and 365

2010-01-12T14:14:00.000-08:00

hello there!

i'm kinda rusty at this as its been thirteen weeks and a day since my last blog and i'm sincerely sorry guys and girls!! but i'll just ramble a bit and then post, typical elrossiter style yo.

ITS NOT A WIND-UP LOVE, I REALLY THINK LIKE THIS IS A YEAR OLD TODAY!!! cue fanfare, screaming women and victoria sponge. and its my sixtieth post, cue mild whoops and maybe a single high five then getting on with our lives. hence double whammy anniversary festo-though to be honest i'm sure there has to be some sort of 'happening' or 'event spectacularrrr' or shennanigan tomfoolery of some sort so this is probably false advertising but hey-SHIT happens!
so how'm i celebrating this momentous occasion i hear you holler. well now just calm yourselves down an i shall kindly tell you. to celebrate i am drinking a cammomile tea and listening to echo and the bunnymen....but before you despair and jump to the conclusion that ole elrossiter has gone soft on you just hold your horses yeah!! for i have been coach travelling from that london and been (a bit) ill so there you go. i have been having many a late night in that london though and having good times so don't write me off!

god i'm so easily distracted at the moment and i don't even know who i'm talking to hear really. an actual real person may read it at some point but i don't know what i'm expecting. i suppose i'm just writing to myself really, i don't fuckin know, i just enjoy throwing down random thoughts and clearing my mind a bit. if you don't like it you won't read it will you?? so nought ventured, nought gained!

some contemporary entertainment for you-

saw this last night, it was actually really really good and i recommend it! like many people i was of the oppinion that sherlock holmes and doctor watson runnin around, swearing and being a bit uncouth was not what it should be about! but having seen it i have to say it that it pretty much works. it makes sense for them to have such skills and would seem to be a nessesity given the time period. though i think the whole 'cage fight' type thing with holmes 'was' too much and quite unnessasary really.
but anyway the writing was great, the story great, sets great, cast was brilliant, relationships between characters entirely believable and realistic and the set-up for more films was done nicely too!
GREAT FILM-go see!!

just finished reading this.
very briefly-it was alright.

things i didnt like-a few of the things he did with the characters, the sections without anyone of the existing HH characters-what was the point, didnt really conclude the series or bring any particular closure or 'oh, thats alright then' sort of feelings which i'd thought was kindof the point-that he was finishing it off.

things i did like-he pretty much got the characters right and i believed his writing of them, his style was 'though obviously not exact' close enough to douglas' that it worked and it was easily accepted, some good moments that made me laugh, that he didnt do anything 'too' horrific or unaceptable with any of the characters and didnt bring marvin back, a couple of nice douglas adams ref's that you would have missed if you didnt no much about the great man.

my main problem was that eoin didnt make that much use of this incredible opportunity, douglas was always commenting on society's nonsensical ways, on technology, religion, politics, and so many things-now mostly harmless was released in 1992, thats nearly 18 years ago, how was has happened since then that doulglas would have been picking up on??? lots basically and eoin didnt really seem to give it much thought. so in that respect 'and another thing' was fairly dissapointing, like i finished it and i was just like 'oh. right. okay then'.
well i dunno, i'm sure there are many other people who havent been nearly as kind or fair when reviewing this book and i have tried to be at least objective. it didnt grocely offend me so i'm thankfull for that!! any oppions??

well now i'm listening to billy bragg ha ha ha so heres to another year of I,N,A,W,U,L,I,R,T,L,T, thanking you muchly if you've ever glanced at this blog, obviously mistaking it for something else them hastilly scrambling elsewhere.

well two out of three were contemporary so i'll count that as a win!

look after yourselves

brought to you by
covered in bee's,
don't let the bastards grind you down,
satisfying my blogging itch,
the late and great douglas adams

elrossiter x x x x

blog number 59 is brought to you by the sirrius cybernetics corporation, share and enjoy! or. hitchhikers guide published 30 years ago, WHOOT!

2009-10-12T13:11:00.000-07:00

thats right folks! 30 years since that most remarkable book was published. better selling than the cellestial homecare omnibus, more thrilling than 27 more things to do in zero gravity and more popular than the encyclopedia galactica in two respects. one, it is slightly cheaper, and two, it comes with the words 'DON'T PANIC' embroidered in larege friendly letters on the cover.

done from memory so forgive mistakes guys, gals and small furry creatures from alpha centuri.

bloody honestly, whats not to love about these books?? every time i read them they are just as thrilling, moving, ball acheingly funn, wise, clever, and above all-entertaining as hell!!

some favourite things off the top of my loaf

-the relationship between ford and arthur

-the beware of the leopard bit

-when arthur see's fenchurch again for the first time while driving (before the raffle bit) and is so excited he nearly runs her over then hits her with the car door which flings her umbrella into the road. arthur helfuly says SHIT!

-at milliways when ford is explaining to arthur about how the universe started 'for a kicker' ''you get this bath see, and its connical see....''

-slartibartfast

-didnt i tell you i have a brain the size of a planet

-and basically the rest of the books really...

one of my favourite moments from all five books is at the start of 'Life..
Arthur has been onj his own in his cave for i think 3 years while fords gone off to explore. Arthur gets up one morning after his usual scream of horror and calmly announces to the world that he will go mad. Ford is perched on a rock watching and says 'good idea, did me the world of good' Arthur is massively shocked and also greatly relieved to see a real person, on the other hand ford is an almost immediately annoying person. ford puts his hand out and Arthur eventually shakes, putting all his relief and joy into it-ford disengages. after some mad explaining a sofa appears and is bobbing away acrross a field.
for very clear and distinct reaons they have to catch it. and they rlease whoops of joy and delight. they let everything go, all there worries, frustration, everything. and laughing and calling to each other to head off this irrational piece of furniture eventually catch it.

its a wonderfull moment, full of joy.

thanks for reading!!!! what'r your favourite moments??

brought to you by the constant genius of douglas adams,
excitment of that london,
and swindonia

elrossiter x x x x x x x x

some more sad deaths mondi. or. barry letss was aces, thankyou that man!

2009-10-12T12:36:00.000-07:00

Barry Letts has died at the age of 84. how very sad, i can't stand all this death. Stephen Gately aswell at 33, sad sad sad.
Without Barry Letts doctor who would very probably not have seen the like of tom baker-the penultimate doctor for most-myself included. he wrote and created the character of sarah jane smith played by the wonderfull Elizabeth Sladen (my favourite 'never aging' companion). he originally worked on a William Hartnell episode but was most known for his stint during the Pertwee era. but forgive my ignorance and read about him from someone better clued in-

http://gallifreynewsbase.blogspot.com/2009/10/barry-letts-1925-2009.html

R.I.P. Barry Letts 1925-2009

R.I.P. Stephen Gateley 1976-2009

thats enough bad news.

brought to you by moving onto another subject

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x

elrossiter is here to receive your calls and information. or. ten days and alls well, hello, is this 57?

2009-10-09T02:42:00.000-07:00

so i wake up at some undisclosed time early this friday morning, its still dark so not that early. and i litterally hear a sort of sizzling, burning sound. then quickly realise its on my bed, on my duvet. so i push the covers and jump out of bed, like pretty damned sharpish!! i htink by the time i was out of bed and stood looking at it, the sound was gone and i was slightly beggining to realise that maybe. . . . . something was slightly. . . not quite right. so i go an flick the light on and shuffle back over to the bed, i'm yaknow 'out of it like' and i look at the duvet and lift it up and look under it and that and ascertain that everythings fine and it was just my mind going a bit mental - so business as usual. i switch off the light and go back to bed. offcourse when i get back in i'm bein cautious and tentative, you know. . . just incase. you can't be too carefull can you?

it was the fact that i heard this ssssss burning or hissing, and i'm sure i saw the crease of duvet as something more than it was. it looked brighter and maybe coiled together and as if it could have been meting down toward my, well, legs! i could have been imaging a scene from one of the alien films. maybe ressurection when one of the aliens is slashed open and you see intestines an stuff burning through the floor.
just another case of hallucinatory/dream doing stuff. s'all good.

stand by for a hitchikers at 30 blogtactulerrrrrrr! WHOOT!! maybe satdi when i'm ungover like

hallucionatory dream time folks!

brought to you by irish cream coffee,
madness,
good peoples,
vogon poetry is offcourse the third worst in the univers. . .

elrossiter x x x x x xx x xx x x x x

i can't help it, i've been asking everyone 56. or. ha ha

2009-09-29T07:14:00.000-07:00

Q. how many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

A. fish

this'll be what my search for surrealism came up with then ha

brought to you by richard hawley,
surreal fish
and green tea

elrossiter x x x x x x

what a waste of post 55. or. its not a waste, i enjoy bloggin

2009-09-28T14:37:00.001-07:00

(in his head)
hey there i'm jez, hows it hangin?

(a little deeper)
hey there, i'm jez, hows it hangin?

(deeper still)
hey there i'm jez. hows it hangin?

the door opens to reveal addel i think her name was.
hey there i'm jez, hows it hanglin? (grimace)

PEEP SHOWS BACK!!!!!! whoot. and its still bloody brilliant! some people may well say 'uhh its not as good as it used to be, moan munch moan' but i think this series deffinatelly has it back, if maybe it wavered a bit durin series 4 an 5. in the last one, all the conversations about the boiler were brilliantly written, specially when mark goes mental at it towards the end. nice one david mitchell and robert webb!
awesome sauce!

brought to you by mark and jezs craaaaazy adventures,
chuck palahnuick,
all those wonderfull people in my life,
slartibartfast

elrossiter x x x x x x x x

what an absolute stunning weekend. or. 54, this's 54, last call for 54. . . . . . . . .

2009-09-27T12:59:00.000-07:00

this weekend has been too good to be true! it really really has. and why's it been so good you enquire. because it has been spent with a lady (what else) a truly amazing beautifull wonderfull woman. saturday was spent babysitting from nine to eight and it was just so easy and comfortable, the day seemed to last forever and every moment was just right. and though shes gone back to mile end i'm gonna be seeing her again and then who knows what ha ha

i know i'm turning into mush as i type but i aint appolagisin for it, i could not have been happier. and the year and a month old baby we were sitting was a delight.

okay okay i promise not to jam up my blog with this sorta stuff but this one had to be said!

i was sacked from my job the monday just gone and tomorra is my last day. why was i sacked? because the bastards coudnt grind me down and i woudnt jump every time they said frog! anyway i'm over it, goin for a pint of black sheep after my shift. its like what someone at work said the other week-if your having an amazing social/love life or whatever outta work, work is most likely gonna be shit! its litteraly like you can't have both, finding a balance is near impossible. an lo an behold what happens to me? i get sacked then have possibly the best weekend of my life with an absolutely fantastyczny lady.

anyway they can go nannas, the owners and bosses are massive kwonts who do fuck all for there staff and grab at the money like scrooge on crack. i've been saying this for ages ha ha you can ask anybody. onwards and upwards!

DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN! thats one thing i've learnt.
this man knows what i'm talkin about

but what a weekend!

as long as you have a good time, thats all that matters.
this man knows what i'm talkin about

brought to you by everything i've up there i've just splurged at you,
thoughts of an upcoming visit to mile end,
good times,
and and fucken and (as they were named prior to 'the commitments'!

lots of love
elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

double r.i.p. tuesday. or. i don't know whats appnin, do you?! i don't

2009-09-15T04:34:00.000-07:00

keith floyd passed away on monmday september 14th at the age of sixty five after suffering from cancer. he has been described as the epitome of gonzo tv for his cookery programs in the eighties and nineties, sounds good to me.

patrick swayze also fell victim to cancer on monday september 14th at the age of 57. theres that scary C word again. bloody ell honestly.

i'd like to end this on a slightly more uplifting note but haveto say i'm strugglin. i'm gonna make a cupper and leave it at that.

brought to you by a less than uplifting blog.

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x

Short Sharp Science - New Scientist

2009-09-02T13:48:00.001-07:00

Short Sharp Science - New Scientist

Shared via AddThis

sundi neet nee internets. or. redrum-OH SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

2009-08-30T13:33:00.000-07:00

mi compooter done gone went cablooie (type ting) which sucks the ass big time!!!

on the plus side my auntie has given me a bag of old tapes (music cassettes) that belonged to my uncle david!! proper treasures they are, an to think they nearly got charity shopped is just hideous beyond words!

for those of you who don't know what i'm bangin on about, these are tapes-

http://images2.layoutsparks.com/1/147861/mixed-tapes-1-collection.jpg

and this is one from the colection-

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_tRg73iZIquM/Rlm2r9uo2rI/AAAAAAAAKUE/-ZlpRDJOZf4/s320/earth+wind+fire+spirit.jpg

A GENIUS ONE!! its like listnin to an eighties cop show. reight good.

elrossiter is off to read the shining, pleasant nightmares to you all.

this blog is dedicated to the memory of my uncle david. he played drums for a group called 'the chuck fowler band' among others and was known on the old circuit as dave 'cannon' smith!

brought to you by echo and the bunnymen,
black sheep ale,
nic an daves engagement
and tapes!
love elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

hello's, unusal start to the day saturday. or. as long as you have a good time, thats all that matters.

2009-08-22T01:28:00.000-07:00

well this morning i got out of bed at about 8.30 (on a saturday, what the duck) and went to the bathroom, all normal proceedings, and looked into the mirror to see a dead moth squished to my forehead..... which i wasn't expecting. i didn't wig or anything, i just plucked the poor little bugger off my loaf. he had staring beady little eyes-wish he'd obviously not been using. on his squashed body the eyes are almost obscenely large, as if he'd realised what was happening at the last second and they had ballooned in surprise daffy duck style.

tonight after i finish work and gonna mi mates for a birthday barby! and the blokes are all doing an 'Arthur Seaton' tribute from the brilliant film 'saturday night and sunday morning' (more to follow on this)

i'm out to have a good time, all the rest is propaganda.

brought to you by the fantastic Albert Finney as Arthur Seaton,
barby's
overtime

elrossiter x x x x x x xx

silencesilencesilencesilencesilencesilencesilence. or. . . . . . . . . . . . . . sundi

2009-08-16T12:23:00.000-07:00

r.i.p. les paul

*blogging will resume shortly*

*please stand by to receive information*

elrossiter x x x x x xx x xx x

fuckinghell he's dead thursday. or. mental.

2009-06-25T15:30:00.000-07:00

michael jackson is dead. aged fifty. if this is a massive publicity stunt and he like rises from the dead i'm gonna be massively pissed off! ! ! ! !

r.i.p. sky saxon of the seeds

brought to you by the dresden files,
tea,
country side

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x

a full none blogging month of sundays, sunday. or. its now actually wednesday in actual fact, wednedsay.

2009-06-14T07:56:00.000-07:00

hello there loyal fan type people. i havent blogged in a month an three whole days, god its mental that. busy with work an drinkin beer an that i spose. though i have still needed to get shiz off mi chest. maybe i'll get back into the schwing of it now.

updates list-

1. i have a beard
2. am on the 9th book of the dresden files by jim butcher with 10 and 11 lined up.
3. i've mostly got over the moaning about women bit and infact things are potentially looking up in that department.
4. have been camping and have another trip lined up, and a trip to that loondoon, and. . . . a massive adventure to bosnia to convene with my brother on his massive photography mission.
5. have tickets to see magazine-oh my god yes!
6. used the word hogwash for the first time ever-and baby it aint gonna be the last.
7. ians mick jagger impression was the best pulling technique i have ever seen ever! legend! she fainted because she was so overwhelmed by his masculinity!
8. lily allen is a fucking idiot.
9. one of the girls is the cutest, sweetest little thing i have ever met, bless her.
and 10. good times good times good times

brought to you by good times,
good people,
good books,
good beer
and making your own fate!

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

they drive me absolutely batty sunday. or. i love them and i hate them.

2009-05-17T14:35:00.000-07:00

how is it that i'm still so utterly confused and fairly clueless about women? ! ? ! ?
they drive me completely and utterly insane they reall really really do! everytime you begin thinking something it changes or goes tits up or simply turns out you were wrong/mislead in the first place.

god help me i hope i figure something out soon before i give up entirely! they make me want to scream sometimes they really do.

bugger.

brought to you by the timeless confusion of the opposite sex,
and roller discos-they are aces!

elrossiter x x x x x x x x

satdi night, 45, dream me amadeus. or. bussiness as usual

2009-04-25T13:38:00.003-07:00

a classical, surreal, inexplicable dream from elrossiter. here we goes-

i was at darnall (in sheffield folks). it was dark so presumably it was late evening. i enter a building that was next to that lighting place which is in turn next to wilkinsons- this buliding is actually opposite 'aquarious lighting' on that triangular patch of pavement. the building i entered was also triangular, yaknow fitting onto the pavement like. later on in the dream i remember making a triangular shaped motion above my head with my hands as description to someone. i had gone to this building to get myself a second job that was in the medical industry and was concerned with new born and prematurely born babys in the nursery like. i got the impresion it was a late evening, early morning job. when i got inside i went into what i could describe as a sort of teachers lounge, it looked like somethin from life on mars. i don't remember in what order i saw the people inside but there present were my good friend ian, another friend who i think was tom, a few people i did not know and the boss who was called gemma. the name gemma obviously came from a new colleague of mine, although it wasn't actually her. i'd had no idea ian or tom worked there and spoke to ian about it, he was like 'yeah yeah been here a while like' type thing, then the boss gemma gave me the overview of the job. i remember her saying to me that you have to be completely focused and that you can't leave the new borns for a single second because something bad would most probably happen. everyone was really relaxed in this 'not even slightly medical' type lounge and i think ian was telling me some stuff and there may have been some food put on. shortly later a poker table was set-up right there in the lounge. two tables side by side in the manner we used to set them up at the boozer i worked in.

shortly after this i was looking out of the window (and here's where it gets A'grade mental) at a tall office building somewhat in the distance. it was all green windows, a dullish emerald colour. the building then began to twist from the top, from my perspective it twisted to the left. all fluidly like it wasn't solid but made of a tough foamy material. then when it had twisted so far as if it had reached a stress point it, well, not exactly snaps or breaks but comes away from the foundation at ground level and snaps to the ground like it was magnetically attracted. at which point the building immediately begins moving towards the building i'm in. like a train or a tram, but there was no accelaration. the building upon toppling and hitting the ground on its side is instantly moving fairly fast, the roof top of the structure being the head of the building/train. so we all try to evacuate being as this office building that thinks its a train is only seconds from collision, and we just manage it. i dunno if there was any new born babys in the place we were in, i don't think i saw any! but ian somehow doesn't completely clear and is caught in the collision/blast. when all has settled i see ian on the ground and he's unconscious, i either find him in the rubble and carry him clear to a grassy bank close by or he's somehow thrown there and thats where i find him. either way we're on this grass and i don't know if he's alive, i maybe look for a pulse and don't find one. i'm seriously emotional and holding him and crying an that-i'm devastated not knowing what to do. a moment or two later he regains consciousness and i'm not sure if i realise this because he says something along the lines of 'easy mate, calm down i'm fine' yaknow that guy thing-whoa your a bit close there dude. so ians oaky then which is fantastic news!!! and i' certain he will think so too.

the next part is a little hazy but i remember walking away from darnall up the priince of wales road. not sure exactly who i was with but there was a small group of us and david from work made a brief appearance. though his bicep muscles in his arms were bigger-blatantly because he's said things like 'why aren't my arms that big?' at work. prince of wales road was different in that it had become more industrial, both sides of the road were lined with big, tall, grey factory buildings. and it had also become narrower so the factories were somewhat looming over head. sort of canyon like. so we got so far and i reallised i had to let my mum know i was alright as i'd just been involved in a pretty serious (not to mention surreal) incident, so i was texting her. just as we were getting to the footpath that leads away from the road towards my house my mum appeared from the path. we hugged and everything was alright. thats about all i remember.

just about finished listening to the doctor who big finish audio adventure-spare parts. featuring the fifth doctor and cyber men and written by marc platt. its pretty good actually and quite fucked up. certainly better than ghost shite!!!!!

brought to you by good good things,
strongbow,
spare parts,
skint satdi neet in

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x x

heres that maaarvelous beat poet, john cooper clark thurs. or. nee socialisin with work girls tonight, descent readathon it is then.

2009-04-16T09:14:00.000-07:00

I'm ankle deep in human waste
the toilet has been clogged
marrowbone jelly all over the place
I don't even have a dog
the man upstairs he grabs my arm
saying don't I know your dad
all I could hear were the fire alarms
the day my pad went MAD

all I could hear were the fire alarms
the day my pad went MAD

The kitchen has been ransacked
ski trails in the hall
a chicken has been dansacked
and thrown against the wall
in walks this dumb waiter
with a fountain pen and pad
saying how do you want this alligator
the day my pad went MAD

saying how do you want this alligator
the day my pad went MAD

The hamster had been slaugtered
the parrot bound and gagged
the guard dog had been sorted out
and absolutely shagged
the goldfish drowned, the cat was found
kicked around and stabbed
the radio did not make a sound
the day my pad went MAD

the radio did not make a sound
the day my pad went MAD

the pop-up toaster refused to pop
the chandelier was smashed
the starter motor would not stop
the tyres had been slashed
there was no way out of there
I was stuck with what I had
out of order, beyond repair
the day my pad went MAD

out of order, beyond repair
the day my pad went MAD

yesterday I had the place rewired
and slung out all of my junk
a tumble dryer and a two bar fire
and a telephone now defunct
I peeped through the venetian blinds
and the rain fell down so sad
on the broken home I left behind
the day my pad went MAD

on the broken home I left behind
the day my pad went MAD

Johnny's in the basement mixing up the metaphors
Ian Burns backstage with John Cooper Clarke-

John Cooper Clarke, the bard of Salford, is knackered. He's spent the last four days hauling his skinny arse, pillar to post clickety clack, from Colchester to Greenwich to Darlington and finally down to Soho, where he's perfecting his slump in the dressing room at Madam JoJo's, a grotty red velvet nite spot where the boys dress as girls, down by the seamy side.

The shades and birds-nest hairdo are present and correct, as are the beautifully worn-in spit and polished black chelsea boots. To complete the effect, this most stylish of our poets is squeezed into a pair of black bollock-tweaking drainpipes ("I know what yer thinkin'", he'll say, " 'ow can such a rich baritone emanate from such a frail androgynous figure?"), a striped "mod" jacket two sizes too small, and a stupendously colared seventies shirt. If Jarvis Cocker had made Blonde on Blonde, he'd have looked very much like this. He is nervously self-effacing about his appearance after four days of living out of a holdall - “I look a right mess...sorry about that,” but oh how disappointed his public would be if he presented himself in jeans and T-shirt. The hair and shades are all, his very own iconography...hell, he can even wear sunglasses in a dark nightclub without looking like someone you'd like to punch, and that's style. John Cooper Clarke has looked the same, give or take the odd striped jacket, for 20 years. As he's fond of saying, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Some might say that this sartorial, and indeed tonsorial, attitude extends also to his poetry readings. He's been peddling the same poems for years. He's a seventies poet of no modern relevance (whatever the hell that means). As the coup de grace, some would point to the lack of published work as ultimate proof that the man is in a state of poetic stagnation. I ask him whether there'll be any new material in tonight's show.

“When did you last see me?” About five years ago. “Oh, there will be.”

A collection of his poems, 1981's "Ten Years In An Open Necked Shirt", is his only published work, and despite a number of reprints, it is now unavailable. This is a strange situation for one of our better known poets to be in, yet John Cooper Clarke carries with him such an air of comically resigned helplessness that you get the impression that he just can't be arsed with that end of the "business".

“'Well, my stuff ain't in the shops right now because...er...er...well, it's my fault, really! I've not done anything about it. I mean it's gonna happen, but...not with me in charge! I admit, I am well overdue for a new product.”

“Sardonic” is a word that you come across a great deal when John Cooper Clarke is mentioned. I looked it up in my Little Oxford: “Adj. grimly jocular; full of bitter mockery; cynical.” That's the man, officer. He speaks in slow measured tones, rolling his words around and fishing for ambiguities that are ever present in his poetry, and occassionally giving in to a dark chuckle. He is telling me about a book of poems that he is hoping to get published, called "Blue Picnic". “They're poems that have a kind of lugubriousness about them, almost to a Morrissey-esque extent...so miserable that they're funny. I mean, I hope people get it, because not everybody gets it with Morrissey, do they? That kind of misery can be incredibly humorous...it's meant to be funny... you don't write that kind of doleful stuff so that people'll come up to you and pat you on the head and say “there there”...you can write about it and make it incredibly enjoyable, you know?

“I'm also writing a novel...my first one...the “selected memoirs” of a Fleet Street hot shot, called “One Drink at a Time.” The main character is a hard boiled tabloid journalist who writes a column in a drinking establishment called the Pussycat Lounge. It's a well-ploughed furrow, I know, but I think I can bring something new to it...otherwise I wouldn't bother.”

And yet, with a new collection of poems and a novel in the pipeline, as well as a forthcoming role in "The Changeling" (based on the Jacobean tragedy by Thomas Middleton) and a diary that finds space for around 200 gigs a year, John Cooper Clarke will later tell his audience, “I've made a religion of indolence...I eat a third of a Mars bar a day to help me rest.” But then the truth ain't half as entertaining as the persona, and John Cooper Clarke does love a larf. His performance onstage is often drowned out with the stuff, and it is telling that the poetry he chooses to recite usually comes with a puchline. It is as though he lacks the confidence in his poetry to entertain on its own terms.

“Well, I've got loads of stuff that ain't good enough for performance... well, I s'pose I consider my ones that are good enough. The ones that I write that look OK on the page I just think, well what's the point? I've got millions of 'em. I guess someone else would put them in a book, but I think if they're not good enough to read aloud then what's the point of putting them in a book? I dunno...mebbe I'm wrong,” says the man Time Out calls a "near genius". "I mean, I road test new material all the time. That's the ultimate test, to see how a new poem goes over...and I do get nervous when a new poem is declaimed publicly for the first time.”

His art is a hybrid of poetry and stand-up comedy. “Well, people say it's a cop-out, but I like to keep the audience laughing, you know...if they're laughing then I can tell that they're still interested. I do have the odd poems that ain't a hundred laughs but I feel like I have to ask 'em, ”Did you like that one?" With some of the older stuff maybe the crowd laughs out of recognition, but I doubt that humour has a shelf-life. I don't think that humour is the only thing in my poetry, but then I do tend to concentrate more on that side for performance.”

outside the take-away saturday night
a bald adolescent asked me out for a fight
he was no bigger than a two-bob fart
he was a deft exponent of the martial arts
he gave me three warnings trod on my toes
stuck his fingers in my eyes and kicked me in the nose
a rabbit punch made my eyes explode my head went dead and I fell in the road

(from kung fu international)

“I've always told jokes on stage anyway, while I'm looking for the next number, like. You don't want to leave them in silence. I always feel it incumbent upon meself, cos even if I'm not on stage for very long, I like to keep every second occupied...it's ENTERTAINMENT...there's nowt worse than fumbling about while you look for the next poem, you know- "Sorry about this folks". So I tell a joke. And I know so many jokes that I can just tell them on automatic while I'm busy doing something else.”

I interrupt him to mention a memory I have of him offering a pound to anybody who could tell him a joke that he didn't know the punchline to.

“Well, I don't remember that...” (he pauses - timing is everything) “but I've never paid for a joke in my life! I've never wanted to be a stand-up comedian, though. Don't get me wrong though, I love comedians...welll, I s'pose I am a comedian...slightly...certainly when I play comedy clubs I do concentrate on the funny poems, but then last week I did a gig at the Birmingham Readers and Writers Association which was a Literary Event, so I did the slower, leisurely-walking-pace, observational stuff, some prose...

“When I work on the comedy circuit the onus isn't on me to be a comedian...a comedian has got to be funny or it ain't comedy, but poetry can still be poetry even if it ain't funny, can't it? In a way, I'm lucky that I can keep that sort of balance. When I first started doing readings - this is in the mid seventies - there weren't really any poetry venues, there wasn't a Poetry Scene, so I useta hafta perform at places like Mr Smith's, a club in Manchester where I did a Sunday night residency for a few years, for an audience that probably didn't even read books. But poetry has always been and always will be a very different way of writing, a minority interest. It's language with its best suit on, innit?”

He does love a rhetorical question, does John Cooper Clarke, sitting there in what is probably not his best suit, amidst the tat of a transvestite's dressing-room. “Places in decline inspire me. I like that. Places with a lugubrious air, like 'oliday places out o' season...Morecambe, Blackpool...Essex is full o' places like that...Southend, Clacton...Southend 'as the sort o' thing where you go to 'oliday resorts and you look at 'em and you think, “Faded Grandeur,” you know...in fact, Southend has the unusual distinction in that you can look around and, even considering the fact that it has declined, you can see that it was never any good anyway. You look at what's there along the promenade...why is the pet shop that's been there since 1958, still standing? Why is the fortune teller no longer there? The Italian ice-cream parlour- 'ow did it end up like that? I never answer these questions meself of course, but you 'ave to ask 'em!

“But I get my inspiration from a lot of places, not necessarily geographical. I mean, say, Beezley Street could be in any town. With a poem like “Love Story in Reverse.” I just thought, “Right! Endless stream of vituperative language!” It's a form, innit?

There's a great song by Louis Armstrong, called “I'll be glad when you're dead, you rascal, you” which is affectionate, but the things he says are unforgivable. So usually when I write it's because I've been inspired by things like that. You think, “Oh, that's a good idea...an endless stream of abuse" and if it rhymes, so much the better. But such poems aren't based on any one person- I'm not that misanthropic - but more a composite. When I was writing that poem, my main concern was keeping to the rhythm, keeping the rhyme schem rigid, and condensing it, making it relentless and unforgetable. The stylistic end is always the most important.”

Like a dose of scabies
I've got you under my skin
You make life like a fairytale
Grimm
Like a death at a birthday party
You spoil all the fun
Like a fucked and spat out smartie
You're no use to anyone

(from Love Story in Reverse) (or Twat as it was released)

John Cooper Clarke has never been afraid of incorporating the widest number of styles into his work. He is perhaps the only poet to successfully join poetry with rock, and his ascent in the mid seventies coincided with the DIY music boom that gave a voice to urgent young talent.

“Well, I started off writing in a band, The Vendettas, in the late sixties... but, yeah, punk helped because there was a lot 'appening, new places were opening up and getting lumped in with that scene opened up a lot of gigs and opportunities for me. It got me out of Manchester and around the world, really...but I've never felt meself to be part of any movement.”

It was around this time, facing crowds of speed-crazed punk rockaaahs, that he developed his on - stage declaiming voice that one writer has likened to “an auctioneer with a grudge against the world and a sneer as permanently attached as a scar.”

“Yeah, I do read some of my poetry very fast...that did start with punk, really...the high energy side of it. I thought, “Right. I'll read 'em fast.”...and it draws the audience in if they can't get all the words. It's like if you whisper into a microphone then they'll stop talking and listen, cos they feel excluded. If you shout “Shut up!” then they'll just carry on. Like with Chuck Berry in “Too Much Monkey Business” you can't get a lot of the words. I reckon Bob Dylan was influenced by that song when he wrote “Subterranean Homesick Blues,” cos you can never work out the words. Incomprehensibility has its own dynamic, there's no question about it.”

As showtime approaches, the manager of Madam JoJo's enters the room to explain that he can't be sure he'll be in a position to pay in advance, due to so-far sluggish box office action on this quiet Sunday night. I ask John Cooper Clarke if he still enjoys his role as a performance poet, and all the travelling, the living out of a holdall, all the dressing-rooms, all...THIS! “Yeah, I do...I mean, In really enjoy performing. I hate the travelling though, cos I don't drive, but...yeah, I do.”

Later that night, having entertained around a hundred of the faithful with a non-stop stream of poetry, jokes, banter and nonsequiturs, John Cooper Clarke bounds offstage with laughter ringing in his ears

interview by ian burns

brought to you by salfords finest,
the mystery of the hidden/non-existant fridge

elrossiter x x x x x x

the english bumble bee wednesday. or. if you'll excuse me i've just got to break out the smeg hammer to remove mr. listers underpants

2009-04-15T06:34:00.000-07:00

bee's have hair on there eyes!

is that the first sign of madness? ? ?

brought to you by bumble bees,
and indeed all other commercially available forms of bee,
the descent by jeff long

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x

42nd post is it then, this can mean but one thing! or. you guessed it

2009-04-09T12:03:00.000-07:00

blog number 42. can you really blame me for giving you some hitchhikers guide to the galaxy?! i mean come on there's just really no excuse NOT to throw some hitchhikers into the mix. i'd haveto be a madman not to! not that i've ever needed an excuse before like. anyways its a good bit at the restaurant at the end of the universe, not an obvious bit either. your welcome

arthur turned to ford - he hadn't quite got this place worked out in his mind.
'look, surely' he said, 'if the universe is about to end . . . don't we go with it?' ford gave him a three-pan-galactic-gargle-blaster look, in other words a rather unsteady one.
'no,' he said, 'look,' he said, 'as soon as you come into this dive you get held in this sort of amazing force-shielded temporal warp thing. i think.'
'oh,' said arthur. he turned his attention back to a bowl of soup he'd managed to get from the waiter to replace his steak.
'look,' said ford, 'i'll show you.'
he grabbed at a napkin off the table and fumbled hoplessly with it.
'look,' he said again, 'imagine this napkin, right, as the temporal universe, right? and this spoon as a transductional mode in the matter curve. . .'
it took him a while to say this last part, and arthur hated to interrupt him.
'thats the spoon i was eating with,' he said.
'all right,' said ford, 'imagine this spoon. . .' but found it rather tricky to pick up, 'no, better still this fork. . .'
'hey would you let go of my fork?' snapped zaphod.
'all right,' said ford, 'all right, all right. why don't we say. . . why don't we say that this wine glass is the temporal universe. . .'
'what, the one you've just knocked on the floor?'
'did i do that?'
'yes.'
'all right.' said ford, ' forget that. i mean. . . i mean, look, do you know - do you know how the universe actually began for a kick-off?'
'probably not,' said arthur, who wished he'd never embarked on any of this.
'all right,' said ford, 'imagine this. right. you get this bath. right. a large round bath. and its made of ebony.'
'where from?' said arthur. 'harrods was destroyed by the vogons.'
'doesn't matter.'
'so you keep saying.'
'listen.'
'all right.'
'you get this bath, see? imagine you've got this bath. and it's ebony. and it's conical.'
'conical?' said arhtur. 'what sort of. . .'
'shhh!' said ford. 'it's conical. so what you do is, you see, you fill it with fine white sand, all right? or sugar. fine white sand, and/or sugar. anything. doesn't matter. sugar's fine. and when it's full, you pull the plug out. . . are you listening?'
'i'm listening.'
'you pull the plug out, and it all just twirls away, twirls away you see, out of the plughole.'
'i see.'
'you don't see. you don't see at all. i haven't got to the clever bit yet. you want to hear the clever bit?'
'tell me the clever bit.'
'i'll tell you the clever bit.'
ford thought for a moment, trying to remember what the clever bit was.
'the clever bit,' he said, 'is this. you film it happening.'
'clever,' arthur agreed.
'you get a movie camera, and you film it happening.'
'clever.'
'that's not the clever bit. this is the clever bit, i remember now that this is the clever bit. the clever bit is that you then thread the film in the projector. . . backwards!'
'backwards?'
'yes. threading it backwards is deffinately the clever bit. so then, you just sit and watch it, and everything just appears to spiral upwards out of the plughole and fill the bath. see?'
'and that's how the universe began is it?' said arhtur.
'no,' said ford, 'but it's a marvellous way to relax,'
he reached for his wine glass.
'where's my wine glass?' he said.
'it's on the floor.'
'ah.'
tipping back his chair to look for it, ford collided with the small green waiter who was approaching the table carrying a portable telephone.
ford excused himself to the waiter explaining that he was extremely drunk.
the waiter said that that was quite all right and that he perfectly understood.
ford thanked the waiter for his kind indulgence, attempted to tug his forelock, missed by six inches and slid under the table.

brought to you by pure and unfiltered genius

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

happy easter an that wednesday. or. if your not a good little rabbit, the general will come for you

2009-04-08T11:30:00.000-07:00

x x x x HAPPY EASTER FROM GENERAL ELROSSITER x x x x

fourtieth boy have i been slack with bloggage, NEW JOB saturday! or. anti-spectacular big four oh.

2009-04-04T08:52:00.000-07:00

well hello hello people. both real and figments of my imagination. i have been slack on here which may be because the mental flow of dreams has been, well, less mental and flowing than usual. i don't know why, nothing much has changed. not until the wednesday just gone that is, when i found out i had got the job!!! YEAH BABY!!

ELROSSITER HAS GOT A JOB!!! HELL YEAH! and it only took several million years.i start monday and i am very happy about it. so aswell as celebrating at the yell gig tonight i am throwing some pictures of some of my favourite people and things of the moment and of all time, out there to you folks. and thats it, more later-

brought to you by MY NEW FUCKING JOB!!!!,
YES,
YES,
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSS!!!!

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

new books for elrossiter!! or.buffalo and bison. bison and buffalo thursday

2009-03-26T07:06:00.000-07:00

i'm not blogging much am i. no real and/or profound reason why not. wow that was thrilling!!!

i have dicovered-

i present to you the dresden files by jim butcher -applause, fanfair, balloons, a child handing me a flower etc. so its a modern day fantasy/detective/character driven/real world trying to deal with magic/chicago based romp, in my own words! okay so it hasn't exactly created it's own sub genre through originality but theres certainly enough there for it to be plenty interesting and apppealing. our hero being the wizard harry blackstone copperfield dresden whom is trying to pay the rent by making available his highly specialised services-

HARRY DRESDEN — WIZARD

Lost Items Found. Paranormal
Investigations.
Consulting. Advice. Reasonable Rates.
No Love Potions, Endless Purses, Parties
or Other Entertainment

-this's all sposed to be in the middle but the twat won't have it!! its on a plaque next to his door. the other main character is lieutenant karrin murphy. harry's expertise are often called in by the 'old bill', by murphy who is the director of special investigations and harry is their 'libary of the supernatural on legs'. i love the relationship these two have, which at times is extremely shaky. they sort of need each other. harry also has a massive cat called mister who we like.

anyway trust me its good, do as i did an get the first from yer local library enporium and look for the next few in the series in a cheap bundle!

aye so storm front ofcourse being the first in a series of many. borrowed from mi wonderful local library emporium yesterday and read three quarters of it. this's my favourite kind of easy/fun readin that i can sit down with anywhere and just tear through it. the perfect escape book! i mean i love joseph heller and irvine welsh to pieces but sometimes you just need somethin thats doesnt require you to remember a million characters and previous events. catch-22-love it but you need full concentration for hours on end, with storm front-read on the bus nee problem.

okay so its got a good premiss, interesting characters you care about one way or another and a good story you can think about. perfect trash,in the best way! theres also a tellevision series which may be great but i'm not gonna watch it cos i'm always slightly disappointed and i much prefer imaging the characters an that for myself anyways.

what else have i got to say. i'm doing the photography for mi mates night 'no uniform' tomorrow so that'l be good, bands, dancing, getting drunk etc. got a job interview in the mornin for a crappy clothes shop so hopefully that'l go well! and rewatching the eccleston doctor who's-which are absolutely fucking brilliant!

brought to you by, jim butchers dresden files,
echo and the bunnymen,
avoiding doing anything usefull,
tea

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

inspired by no smoking in the skullcave friday. or. easy monay!

2009-03-20T09:59:00.012-07:00

thas right, the newly discovered most excellent 'no smoking in the skull cave' and becca thereof have inspired this-

Im the darkness in the light
Im the leftness in the right
Im the rightness in the wrong
Im the shortness in the long
Im the goodness in the bad
Im the saneness in the mad
Im the sadness in the joy
Im the gin in the gin-soaked boy

Im the ghost in the machine
Im the genius in the gene
Im the beauty in the beast
Im the sunset in the east
Im the ruby in the dust
Im the trust in the mistrust
Im the trojan horse in troy
Im the gin in the gin-soaked boy

Im the tigers empty cage
Im the mysterys final page
Im the strangers lonely glance
Im the heros only chance
Im the undiscovered land
Im the single grain of sand
Im the christmas morning toy
Im the gin in the gin-soaked boy

Im the world youll never see
Im the slave youll never free
Im the truth youll never know
Im the place youll never go
Im the sound youll never hear
Im the course youll never steer
Im the will youll not destroy
Im the gin in the gin-soaked boy

Im the half-truth in the lie
Im the why not in the why
Im the last roll of the die
Im the old school in the tie
Im the spirit in the sky
Im the catcher in the rye
Im the twinkle in her eye
Im jeff goldblum in the fly

well who am i?

and many thanks to becca for zi inspiration!

today i stood 'like a tool' for four and a half hours outside the sheffield arena queuing for u2 tickets. they most certainly were not for myself (i have no desire whatsoever to see the ole pretentious, world saving, tax dodgin bono and his crew) but for mi dad. he is a long time fan, as in before bono started on his crusade etc so i'll forgive him that. an easy way to earn this weekends beer credits anyways! BEER FOR ELROSSITER-YES!

brought to you by the twice mentioned blog above,
hopes of an amazing weekend,
the divine comedy,
american psycho

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x

some bad shit wednesday. or. please don't say crack jeremy, cos when you say crack it makes me think about crack. and i love crack!

2009-03-18T12:03:00.000-07:00

whats goin on out there man? theres some fucked up shit on the news (as per) a bloke convicted of rape and murder has been discovered after 27 years of incarceration to be innocent. so who the fuck did it then?! the bastards been walkin around for nearly 3 decades like a normal person! i don't know.

on a less depressing note, the colour of this yogurt is fantastic! its lemon and passionfruit and looks luminous-maybe its the soft light. the suns been good this last couple days, hell i put shorts on yesterday!! whew i know, i know. hope this weekend goes well, lookin forward to seein mi old college friend.

peep show man seriously-its sooo good. feckin funny funny stuff!

Mark - If you ask me Skywalker was bloody lucky to get away with turning off his guidance system

"Note to self re being the Fonz. Mark, you are not the Fonz."

sophie - Mark you said she was a nuckle head and to nuckle down or you would nuckle her fat head.

Jez - This is good. This is just like watching a porno, except I can't see anything, I haven't got a hard-on, and I want to cry...

Jez - I wish I was a robot, maybe I could punch through a wall (to Mark) 'How thick is wall?'

brought to you by getting nothing of importance whatsoever done,
dune messiah,
mitchell and webb,
the loverly sun

elrossiter x x x x x x xx x x x

monday back to ink, paper, tea, garden, diary bloggin, elrossiter, broken computer, oh my, what, i dunno, who are you. or. computer bust=slow blogs

2009-03-16T06:19:00.000-07:00

thas right cats i'm not dead (you can't trust the headlines nowadays can ya?) my computer has merely temporaraly flown the coop (bust that is)

i am currently blogging from the darnall library. and boy am i gonna become a regular here! so little time so much to unnescasary rubbish to fling at you!

was interrupted from my dream this mornin by a fone call-consarn it idle (shakes fist at sky). was on my back garden which looked like a weird birthday petting zoo type affair. cages with rabbits and guinea pigs and groups of people. some nob ead put a pit bull in with the rabbits but there were no casualties! i had a little moan about it and was about to go upstairs with a lovely lady i had been with, i think she a cross between to birds i know but i can't remember which one. was rudely awoken anyways, just before i got to the good stuff yamean.

how awesome is peep show?!?

why does flying around the planet at unheard of speeds thus making the planet spin the other way reverse time and not just send everyone flying into space or liquify them?! still good though

brought to you by tea,
darnall library-thankyou thankyou,
supes

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

you could spend the morning walking with me quite amazed. or. as i am unwashed and somewhat slightly dazed

2009-03-11T14:49:00.001-07:00

Spy, spy, pretty girl
I see you see me through your window
Don't turn your nose up
Well, you can if you need to, you won't be the first or last

It must strain you to look down so far from your father's house
And I know what a louse like me in his house could do for you

I'm the cream
Of the great utopia dream
And you're in the gleam
In the depths of your banker's splean

I'm a phallus in pigtails
And there's blood on my nose
And my tissue is rotting
Where the reats chew my bones
And my eye sockets empty
See nothing but pain
I keep having this brainstorm
About twelve times a day
So now, You could spend the morning walking with me
Quite amazed
As I am Unwashed and Somewhat Slightly Dazed

I got eyes in my backside
That see electric tomatos
On credit card rye bread
There are children in washrooms
Holding hands with a queen
And my heads full of murders
Where only killers scream
So now you could spend your morning talking with me
Quite amazed
Look out, I'm raving mad and Somewhat Slightly Dazed

Now you run from your window
To the porcelain bowl
And you're sick from your ears
To the red parquet floor
And the braque on the wall
Slides down your front
And eats through your belly
It's very catching
So now, you should spend the mornings lying to your father quite amazed
About the strange Unwashed and Happily Slightly Dazed.

unwashed and somewhat slightly dazed elrossiter x x x x x x x x

wednesday i knew that was gonna happen! or. whats that kringer doing in my dreams, get out get out get out!

2009-03-11T06:28:00.000-07:00

wednesday afternoon drinkin tea, listenin to pulp-now that we've got the pleasantries outta the way. lets get on with it, what do you say? whatever

so one of the two things has gone tits up which i was secretly expectin but hopin woudnt happen! means i can go massively on the pull though if the mood takes me. plus it allowed me to just nip to the shop to buy a snickers (get some nuts an all that) and lucozade with a pathetic portion of the dosh i was savin. so whos the winner really. . . . . . . . . .

mr. T obviously.

had two dreams last night. i know for a fact that they were both mental and in-depth but frigged if i can remember much of em. one featured 'the infernal kringer' himself. i can picture in my head what was goin on but describing it is another matter. but i'll have a go-

he was doing something that was almost like some twisted deformed olympic event. he was going over some ground, indeed gliding over it (in the manner of peter pan), and carving out lines. two parallel lines that curved and went back over themselves all over the place. i used the word carving earlier because he was using one of those pronged pieces of cuttlery used to to transfer freshly carved meat onto hunger peoples plates. we may have been on mountain because at some point there was snow and ted from scrubs (again with the dreaming about scrubs!) went carreening down a slope. i can clearly picture him in a heap, see him jacket, tie, face and side hair! yeah i dunno what else.

the other was a docotr who dream 'cough' geek! 'cough'-

its frustrating to buggery cos i know loads'a stuff kicked off! there were these robot guys. and they were new york taxi yellow with clunky torso's but the heads were the interesting part. they just swivelled round with no up or down and were kind-of put together in a make-do sort of way. we'd (i don't know who 'we' are) done somethin earlier on to alter their evolution an they weren't how they should have been, think they should have been some magnificent race or somethin. i could av been playing the ole doctor i'm not sure, the master was there though! with his beard and all. at another point we were at this place and there were these largeish pedestal/almost throne type jobbys with these alien guys at the top. the alien guys were semi immobile and dependant on these jobbys they sat in. me an the master were there and on these things were bars of chocalate which we climbed to get at. the chocalaye was lush an we climbed several for the different bars, the alien guys got slightly alarmed and nervous but coudnt do frig all about it so that was that.

lastly a bit in the depths of space. the master was in a small shuttlelike craft, quite like one of the vipers from modern battlestar galactica. he was hoofing it from a fleet of ships he'd obviously pissed off/screwed over/generally been evil to and was heading for what must have been a gateway to another part of space or maybe time. it was a series of rings one behind another. but he wasn't quick enough and was stopped by another ship (tractor beam or summat) while partly through and pulled out inbetween two rings. it looked good in my head. . . .

roger delgado

that is all.

brought too ya by pulp,
lucozade,
michelle shocked

elrossiter x x x x xx xx x xx x

chest hair tuesday. or. infact no-chest hair tuesday it is!!

2009-03-10T13:26:00.000-07:00

apparently tom jones has insured his chest hair for 3.7 million pounds. i think thats brilliant!

but does that mean he could go an shave it off. . . . then make up anything he blummin well wanted to?!

coudnt bring myself to put a picture of im with the chest out. your welcome!

i heard this wonderful story by mr jones on radio 2 the other month. he was talking about elvis presley right because they were buds or whatever. apparantly the king was a bit of a gun fanatic and had quite a few, because of which the f.b.i. had to give him a liscence. to make it easy for him to carry guns across borders e.t.c. so elvis 'the king' presley was an official f.b.i. agent! how cool's that! mr jones still has a gun engraved with elvis' initials that he gave him. i think thats cool. you may not.

brought to you by whats new pussycat?
insuring parts of your body why not,
amsterdam by bowie

elrossiter x x x x x x x

the muchly anticipated bill drummond/echo and the bunnymen spectacularrrr. or. all that copying was a nightmare

2009-03-09T15:58:00.002-07:00

lets start with a-

zimbo zimbo zimbo zimbo zimbo

and continue with a-

chunky thighs

Finder and original manager of echo and the bunnymen and the teardrop explodes. Wordsmith. Million quid burner. Justified ancient of mu mu. Scots man. And good ole mentalist. It is ofcourse if you haven’t already guessed BILL DRUMMOND! his writing style is such that no matter what he’s talking about you are completely absorbed, nourished and entertained.

Writing this has suddenly become such a burden and is rapidly losing its fun’ness so I’ll only keep goin until it starts grating.

Okay so the book 45 is fantastic to say the least. Entitled so because he put it out at the age of. . . . from the shores of lake placid is a favourite when he’s talking about the beginnings of the bunnymen and the teardrops on Mathew street Liverpool. The cavern club etc. at one point he is being interviewed by some journalist on a train about said bunnymen and just decides to give his mind free reign to say what it will. And it does.-

it’s the interstellar ley line. It comes carrering in from out os space, hits the world in Iceland, bounces back up, writhing about like a conger eel, then down Mathew street in Liverpool where the cavern club – and latterly erics – is. Back up twisting, turning, wriggling across the face of the earth until it reaches the uncharted mountains of new guinea, where it shoots back into space. Deep space. You know what ley lines are? Those things that hippies are into, imaginary power lines across ancient Britain, lines that can be traced by saxon churches, stone circles, burial mounds, that sort of stuff. But just boringly straight and static. Well, this interstellar ley line is a mega-power one. Too much power coming down it for it not to writhe about. The only three fixed points on earth it travels through are Iceland, mathew street in Liverpool and new guinea. whenever something creatively or spiritually mega happens anywhere else on earth, it is because this interstellar ley is momentarily powering through the territory.
Whenever the bunnymen do a brilliant gig, we know its because they were on the line. Sometimes its only there for a couple of songs. Sometimes it pumps down through one bit of thee world for a few days, even a couple of years. . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I make light of what I have already said. But inside my head I’m going, ‘ofcourse, it all makes sense: interstellar ley lines, why had I not realised before?’ another part of my brain is going, ‘you fuckin eejit Drummond, get a grip.’

-brilliant. Another fascinating, mad, entertaining, gripping bit of this section is Drummond talking about the ‘echo’ character-

the bunnymen are understandably asked, whos echo? And will, mac and les answered ‘our drum machine’. With the benefit of hindsight, I am sure that with their answer my relationship with the bunnymen started to take a dark and possibly dangerous path. They were wrong. Echo was not the drum machine. I knew even if they didn’t, that the real echo was something to do with the devil rabbit that balfe had illustrated for the sleeve. A character named smelly elly had come up with a number of imaginary band names, including echo and the bunnymen.

He then proceeds to the library and goes on mad tangents to find this echo character assuming the bunnymen reffered to his followers! He then eats through religion/myth/tribal books and comes up with echo the greek mountain nymph and a mythical hero of the alonquin tribe of red Indians of northern Canada. His name was klustave and he can take the form of a hare or rabbit to travel the world. There was also a nomadic Siberian tribe with a rabbit spirit who, in some way, was involved in regeneration. Then he discovers the concept of the trickster which he gets very caught up in. anyroad the echo character keeps appearing in one form or another on the record covers. Its all brilliant stuff-go read it I’ve had enough of typin!!!

Okay one more thing. On julian cope-

Julian had a new band every week, each with a manifesto, a built in history and a moral high ground. This weeks band was called the teardrop explodes. I instantly knew this was the greatest name for a band I had ever heard.

okay i'm done an i ain't checkin fer typo's!

the heaven up here album is amazing, i love the teardrop stuff i know, bill also goes on about sych things as, travelling, art, soup and scotland-its a fuckin genius book. please read it or don't, i no longer care.
good night!

brought to you by anchorage,
crap technology,
show of strength,
over the wall

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x x x xxx x x x x

been dazed an confused for so long its not true mondi. or. new week, new life?

2009-03-09T10:08:00.000-07:00

there are two things kicking off for me this week. if they both come off as i hope they will, it will be a freakin sweet week! hell if one of em comes off it'll still be pretty damned freakin sweet! fingers crossed man.

i had two dreams last night an i can only remember a bit of one. i woke up at some point thinkin-woof! gotta get that bad boy down a.s.a.p. so lets see if it comes back to me.

god i think thats it fer the moment. except. . . . . whats a googlewhack?!?!? and no ''you can get cream for that you know'' remarks cheers mate ta!

and because this post REALLY needs an image-

brought to thi by john paul jones,
the hulk,
waistcoats,
pancakes

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x

first things first but not necessarily in that order sunday 30. or. thank the gods i'm hungover thirty!

2009-03-08T10:24:00.000-07:00

do you know what yer gonna haveto wait for the drummond/echo fest cos i've not got it in me to write it all now!! i can hear the millions of you now, weeping and such-not much longer, keep yer pecker up!!

yes you read correctly. i am indeed happy to be hungover. not because i'm some sort of sado masachist-thats got nothing to do with it! but because it means i went out last night and didn't stay in the house moping about getting massively depressed and frustrated! it was good, i got drunk on pints, had some good chin wagging, stan made me laugh with his whistling along to the tunes, basically i escaped for a bit which was prexactly what was needed.

what else. . . yes ha ha ha another dream! you lucky people-

okay so we were going in search of the 'brown rhino' to yaknow save it sort of thing!! we were in new zealand (the home of the brown rhino?) hmm. . . there was a small group of us, which included tony robbinson, TONY ROBINSON KIDS-YES! we were in a hilly dry area and i can really only remember sliding down a hill and the end of the dream. which was when me an tony spotted the beasty. he slid down a hill which turned up at the bottom into a natural ramp. he took to the air and splashed down in a smallish pool of water which was where the rhino was at. i followed and landed in the pool, sinking to the bottom. i tried to swim up but didn't make any progree, then i woke up-presumably so i didn't drown. tony robinsom though folks!

time for sunday dinner!!!!

brought to you by tony robinson,
david bowie,
pints of beer

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x xx

thursday he who controls the spice, controls the universe. or. WORLD BOOK DAY!

2009-03-05T06:17:00.000-08:00

STING! is Feyd Rautha. ha ha how can you not love sting? ? ? its impossible, an he looks far better than he should with that ginger hair (i don't fancy him, he's just cool). 'clears throught' yeah i j ust watched the david lynch DUNE film. its pretty good i think, some of it very good! patrick stewart is gurney halleck for flip sake ha ha ha-did not expect that. i loved the narration thing where we hear peoples thoughts, WHY IS THAT NOT USED MORE? ? ? especially with films of books, the narration is generally what makes the book so amazing in the first place! visually very very good! sand worms looked amazing. the baron was great, the massive disgusting, lunatic, pedo, cannibal, psyco bastard that he is! the casting of paul, jessica, the reverand mother, kynes, leto, the baron, rabban, feyd, yeou and hawat i thought were very good. stilgar wasn't quite what i'd imagined and the little alia did'nt have anywhere near as much impact as the book! i didn't get what that big pragging head/creature in that tomb thing was?! gonna re-read to find out. an the shields were a bit sketchy an i didn't like what they did with 'the voice', i saw it as being the subtleist of changes/intonations of the voice. and i wanted to see more of stilgar and more of pauls trust gaining of the fremen.

all things considered a very ace film of such a massive book!!! ofcourse after reading the book the film seems like the cliffnotes to it which is ultimately inevitable. so i've decided i'm not gonna bother watching the films and just read the books for the most part.

quotes-

gods what a monster.

water is life.

lovely feyd.

he who can control a thing, can destroy a thing.

i must not fear, fear is the mind killer.

worm sign.

THE SPICE MUST FLOW!

brought to you by sting (not fancyin him, thinkin he's cool),
waistcoats,
michael jacksons comeback dates-who gives a shit?!
he is the kwisatz haderach,
bill drummond

elrossiter x x x x x x x

don't speak too soon wednesday (he says with a cheesy grin. or. the excitement, the bewilderment, the surprise, the apprehension and the hope

2009-03-04T13:53:00.000-08:00

out of the three massively gash things that were going on today, one of them has just (lets hope i'm not speaking too soon here) hopefully come up trumps! well step one of it at least! i'm not gonna get ahead of myself too much but i'm all a'nervous an excited. it has been a while after all. when i say 'a while' i ofcourse mean a million years!

the bill drummond/echo and the bunnymen blog of the century is still on its way so don't be a'frettin

brought to you by one mental day of up and down which is currently very much up,
the dune film i'm about to watch with sting,
not getting ahead of one's self,
zimbo zimbo zimbo zimbo zimbo

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

wednesday. or. . . . . . . .

2009-03-04T09:05:00.001-08:00

bugger

elrossiter can only get so far tuesday. or. normal dreams about women

2009-03-03T09:35:00.000-08:00

unbelievably last night i had two dreams about woman! whoopdifuckindoo you may well say, fair enough. but its been so pragging long since i've had a relatively normal dream, let alone two in a row! so suffer or don't, sup to you's

the first was brief but seemed to be set in a knocking shop, like the one i pictured from early on in catch 22 when there in paris, nately's whore an all that! don't remember much, two woman, probably had sex with one.

the second was much better! i had a wife and daughter, at least i assume they were my wife and daughter ha ha. my wife had very dark brown straight hair with a fringe, and was most attractive! my daughter had the same hair i think but yaknow shorter, in fact i'm pretty sure ahe was based on this illustration by the fantabulous rich, in the last pannel, the little girl looking quizzicaly at k-9-
http://comics.shipsinker.com/2009/03/02/the-10-doctors-page-198-2/

anyway i was with my wife in the shower 'having a very good time' then we got out and she was in a dressing gown, so was i presumably. i'm not too sure of the setting, could almost have been an old wooden ship, the walls an floor made out of wood. anyway my daughter only showed up briefly an we sent her to get us two beers (if i ever become a father i will never do this) my wife then produces this very large bottle of 'double scotch', the bottle was plastic as it had some give to it, rectangular and overly large. there was something on the inside wall of the bottle that looked almost like vains. these turned out to sort of water the scotch which i then believe my wife told me after letting me taste it. it was quite drinkable and i noticed it was only like 9%. at this point i became cheeky with her dressing gown and noticed how red her back was from the shower. then we went to the bed and thats all you get to hear! needless to say all conncerned had a good time.

stay tuned for a future bill drummond/echo and the bunnymen blogtactular! whatta writer and whatta band!!! who is this echo? is he a sinister trickster or the only one with a clue? and what have interstellar ley lines to do with him?

brought to you by wonderfull wonderfull dreams,
bill drummond/echo an'bunnymen,
life on mars,
absinthe

elrossiter x x x x x x x x xx x

thursday an fridays dreams revealed. or. sunday zimbo zimbo zimbo

2009-03-01T12:27:00.000-08:00

HELLO!

oh the mental dreams were coming thick and fast last thursay an fri, ho ho. more journey stuff ofcourse, man my sub-conscious really is going ape shit trying to get me to understand.

Okay so-The longest one first, bearing in mind I can’t recall as much as I’d like! Disturbing content warning by the by!

So I’m on this train right, but its more like a supertram because its really wide-the gangway between the seats being maybe ten feet wide. And the train is really really frigging long but again its more like a tram as its all one big thing with no diaphragm like section connecting the separate carriages. As with all my journey dreams I don’t know where I’m a’headin-gee folks do you think this could be important?! Now I think I was sat towards the front of this train but again (another fucking theme emerges) I never see the ends of it so it goes on forever as far as I can tell. I leave my stuff where I’ve been sitting and make my way down the train, I encounter a kid/kids at some point and one or more of them follow me for a bit, in that keeping their distance, peeping over and around stuff kinda way that kids sometimes do. I don’t remember talking to anyone but after I had got so far I think I’d stopped and then noticed that my name was being shouted from towards the front. The voices were of that sort of soft, dreamy, distant quality and they drifted towards me. It took a few moments before I noticed this, at which point I snapped to attention and realised that it was because my stop was coming up. I also realised I didn’t have enough time to get my stuff from way up the train before we went past the stop and so I missed it. Now I don’t remember going back for said ‘stuff’ but what was happening now was I was trying to think what to do and the driver or maybe the captain was trying to work out how to help me as well. This person realised where I had to get off so I could make a connection, whether that was for another train or that someone was going to pick me up I know not. But anyway I went an’somehow missed this frigging stop too! But I did remember the name of this place! Which I no longer can-it began with a G I’m sure of. I also suspect that it wasn’t quite a real place but if I could remember it I would know a lot more about myself and the universe than I do now!!! The only other thing I remember, and bear in mind its quite disturbing-is that we ran somebody over! It was I think a black woman with two kids, one in a pram! This suggests the train wasn’t endless because it must have had a front. I think I braced myself for the bump but there wasn’t one. Pretty messed up ay folks?!

Another dream you lucky people! This one was some sort of aliens (sigorney weaver style) parody. I don’t recall being with anyone but I was in what looked very much like a cross between one of the ships-the nostromo and the aliens main hive from ‘aliens’. i could have been on a ship to start with but I ended up on the ground, it was Sheffield town centre slightly before dawn, and there were definitely other people somewhere-don’t know who! The most significant (not to mention mental) part of the dream was that in place of the aliens were lions and tigers! Oh yes, they were lurking I believe though I don’t think they came really close. Ha yeah that’s that one!

And a short one! QI basically. there was the fantastic Stephen fry sitting where he normally does and on the left was the fantastic Richard e’grant! Now Stephen asked me what I knew about someone and I’m not entirely sure who. But my answer was that he wrote ‘faust’. Having just had a look now I see it was written by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. Back in the dark recesses of my tiny mind I am sure this information is hidden somewhere which makes me suspect Stephen may have asked ‘what do I know about goeth?’ either way my answer was that he wrote faust, Stephen then asked me if I knew when it had been written? I replied vaugely with ‘the eighteen hundreds?’ Richard then gave the answer which was the a.d. one hundreds’s to which I quipped the ‘the a.d. hundred an eighties. Thinking about it now I think I must have been playing ‘alan davies’ in this dream which I think is rather cool, plus I had very similar hair to him in my time!

And the last dream I have titled ‘night of the living improbable groping hands on top of an old double decker bus’
With another warning of disturbing content folks!!

Guess what? Another bleedin journey dream innit, the destination of which I am but ofcourse unaware! This one was on an old double decker bus!! My companion was my good friend whom we shall call ‘alan’. So I go up to the top deck to sit with alan but notice he’s sat with three other blokes on a seat to my left handside. The thing was the bus was of normal size and dimension, the four blokes sat on this seat didn’t have enough room, they were there but they should not have had enough room. It was like seeing a picture of a fat woman in a hat from the shoulders up then realising it was actually a picture of a skinny woman in full profile! Anyway I sat irritably behind them and looked out the window, when I turned forward the other three had vanished so I sat with alan. Shortly after there was a girl on alans lap straddling him doing erm. . . ’certain things’ with him-she may have been naked. I can’t pinpoint her age but she was a teenager (slightly younger than I’d preffer) now I don’t think I had any great reaction to this. It then tuned into some crazy horror scenario! A pair of hands began to reach up at me from the floor (though the floor was still there) and to pull at my garments, I didn’t like this would you believe and tried to get the hell away but another pair of hands appeared also trying to pull me down! That’s the last I remember.

Just your average ordinary regular dreams right folks?! HA! Its gonna get to the point where I’m afraid to sleep ha ha ha. Stay tuned for more if you think you can cope with it.

Brought to you by my specially unique tiny mind,
Lisa an shiv,
Echo and the bunnymen,
Bill Drummond

Elrositter x x x x x x x x x x

the yell, with love. or. pancakes

2009-02-24T11:48:00.000-08:00

and today. working out how to get proper videos into the ole blog. pay attention now kids! if this works you'll see the yell at the 'party lounge' single release down that loondoon!

CAN'T DO IT!!!!!! NO WORKING!! HELP? ? ? ? ? ? HOW'D YOU DO IT? ? ? ? ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPaP7UPL5R8

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=9022482

brought to you by pancakes,
the yell,
and nothing else

elrositter x x x x x x x x x x x

artery-they make my eyes rattle and my mind quake. or. my computer is doing rather strange things.

2009-02-22T06:18:00.000-08:00

repomen, artery, carlin academy, sheffield.

a silhouetted dousche bag.

the fabulous repomen!

GIVE IT SOME DENZIL!!!

i've seen at least a thousand different types of monster. . . . in the eyes. . . . of bassists.

an eagle hovered above, my dreams last night. its eyesight was an extension of my pain!

the book i've got in my hand, is called the business jungle.

the edge! (cheeky)

five trains past me by today, four blue and one. . . a peculiar greEEey.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=194512683

afterwards-the ultimate song to get 'pickled' to!

my computer seems to have come over all queer so its pretty much touch or go for the moment. my blogging days could be numbered! oh god i'd have to go an like . . . . talk to people in real life 'shudder' nar jus yankin yer chain, i love people me!

but my computer may explode, what i was tryin to say.

brought to you by the physical prescence of mark goldthorpe,

top bloke denzil,

having 'A' follower who may actually read this gumf,

shiv and lisa ;)

the genius of photography

elrositter x x x x x x x x x x x

vic reeves, quite clearly my role model! or. i dunno sumfin about chimps an wagon wheels

2009-02-21T07:51:00.000-08:00

the original man about town himself, jim noir. arbiter of weasels for mandatory drumming lessons, scientific pervaour of the self sustaining laser kettle and unstoppable dream creationist!

tweed suited (not above) gentleman mr reeves has some pretty flipping genius comedy under his belt by anyones standards! muchly with constant hetero life partner bob mortimer but ofcourse. the christmas shooting stars was sweet i thought, specially jack dee and the opera singer at the climax-THAT WAS LUSH!!

a top bloke, witty, full of beans, with a beautifull wife and kids. and that style man! the impecabley dressed gentlemen look! clearly this man is what i am aiming to become. for anyone who hasn't i hastilly recommend you with all haste take in the indomitable - catterick!

http://www.sitcom.co.uk/catterick/

who doesnt love vic an bob?! after inducing some vic an bob i like to relax by having a nice relaxing pooo.

brought to you by, guess who- vic 'my hero' reeves,

bob mortimer,

dune,

artery

elrositter x x x x x x x x x x

i can't hardly stand it, r.i.p. Lux Interior. or. bend over i'll drive.

2009-02-19T12:42:00.000-08:00

Lux Interior r.i.p.

what can you say about the cramps, they were a garage punk band that hit the NYC rock’n’roll scene in 76 and they coined the term psychobilly. they are fantastically unique with the launch of their B movie sci-fi/pulp horror inspired musical attacks!

just look at their song titles-

human fly

i was a teenage werewolf

saddle up a buzz buzz

goo goo muck

can your pussy do the dog

and ofcourse-detatchable penis

for a fitting description of the cramps see the website-

http://www.thecramps.com/pages/biography.html

if you don’t know there stuff go do some investigating FAST!

brought to you by 96 tears,

do the clam,

dopefiend boogie

elrositter x x x x x x x x x x x

zwanzig full circle blog spectacular! or. i dream therefore i am.

2009-02-18T06:12:00.000-08:00

Just as I was thinking, hmm twentieth blog-need something good, I HAVE ANOTHER MENTAL DREAM-you lucky people!!! this thus links us to my first blog on here, bringing us full circle! we may become trapped in some sort of time paradox here people. . . . . . .

I awoke from this dream into the real world in a flash, straight from one to the other-remembering the dream with astounding clarity. When remembering my dreams I generally don’t remember voices, conversations, feelings and faces as clearly as I did this morning-it was amazing! But of course it starts to slip and melt away very very quickly so here I’m getting it down.
My companion throughout this was one of my old uni buddies jo. from final year photography degree. I’ve wondered many a time what she’s upto (same for everyone else) but not got in touch-so heres the time. Me thinks this dream was my subconscious kicking me in the head saying ‘message her you dousche bag’!

Okay so Its already slipping, struggling to remember we’re it started. Me and jo get into this gondola life type affair, its quite spacious and theres a third person with us that we both know. Can’t remember who, a woman I think, slightly older than us, I get the feeling she’s maybe a tutor/lecturer. So this ‘craft’ starts up and gets to quite a high speed, theres nothing on the inside-no chairs or straps or owt. The front and back are curved and have very large windows. There was a rocking motion to the thing, I think we would speed up quite vastly and slow down, the rocking motion strongest at the speeding/slowing. Also the windows would open on occasion, sliding gracefully up. They would do this in order to allow brightly lit ‘billboard’ like objects pass through the craft, even though I think some may have been bigger than the craft itslelf and it was offcourse sealed all the way round. Not that it mattered or affected us. At points we were sliding about, me being on my front, fairly nervous and apprehensive but being able to see out. I’m not sure if I knew we’re we were going but I have an impression it was paris (but It may not have been). I recall going and following a river or canal which was quite beautiful and European looking. I remarked to jo that this is the way I go to work, I flew to work in some sort of jet fighter you see.
When we were nearing our destination we went over some buildings, old hoses I think and the craft was changing direction, I said to jo that it reminded me of Hereford. I don’t recall leaving the craft but the next part was good and mental, not quite pole travel but still good (see first blog) me an jo (our other companion having gone) go behind this line of trees and theres this giant wall. Ordinary wall I think not! Its red and a type of plastic, that strong slightly rubbery thin stuff. Like what they used to make inflatable furniture out of! The wall wasn’t thick or solid and I never saw a top or end to it but it was as if it was hanging from somewhere unseen above. It had some give to it you see. Now there were quite a lot of people around and some were scaling this thing. It wasn’t like indoor rock climbing with the hand holds, the wall had these seam like splits. Sort of like the ones you get on some food packaging but they didn’t just split straight off to leave a long slit, more like the seam would split where you pushed your fingers through. But ‘just’ around your fingers so it would still be sealed in between the fingers. The seams didn’t run continuously but were in patches. So I can’t recall starting the ascent but I know jo was ahead of me and we had gained another companion. A bloke with black hair and possibly some sort of facial hair goatee arrangement. He and jo were continuing together ahead of me, and I next remember being a fair way up, certainly above the tree line. Jo and this bloke had reached a narrow shelf, I say shelf because it was perfectly flat exactly like a step but not t very wide. I was five or ten feet below them and had begun to feel nervous and a bit faint. I think I decided I wasn’t going to make it and needed to go back. I spoke to jo at this point and asked her to speak to me (consciously trying to distract myself) I asked her to tell me a story or something, I think she asked what about and I said anything, infact I believe I asked her about sid and she said he was fine and continued. The next thing we were back on the ground, a lot of people were around and they were all heading past us in the same direction. When I awoke I remembered two or three peoples faces so clearly and so distinctly it amazing and as if I’d just seen them in real life. One girls bright red lipstick, anothers eyes and lip piercing, all grinning looking thoroughly happy.

Well that’s it. God I love these mental dreams, I bloody love them their fucking great! Please don’t try to get me sectioned.

brought to you by having a nicely eccentric subconscious,
old friends,
dune,
bad news

elrositter X x x x x x x x x

don't let the bastards grind you down! or. oh yes i dooooo' i'd kill for yooooou.

2009-02-14T08:59:00.000-08:00

colin grigson, den dennis, vim fuego and spider webb are BAD NEWS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N88N0M5dzEA

rik mayall , nigel planer, adrian edmondson and peter richardson are BAD NEWS! and they are completely brilliant! apparently made at the same time as spinal tap! have been listening to them on last.fm but the 'comic strip presents' shows are in a league of there own-the culmination being when they played at donnington infront of thousands of metal heads! to get just how unbelievable it is you have to watch the show in full but fuck me they've got some balls i tell you what!!! getting pelted with stuff. and that guy from scorpions-what a MASSIVE KWONT!!! scorpions, the ultimate pervayors of the sickening soft as shit rock ballad!

killin, lootin, rapin, shootin. killin, lootin, rapin, shootin, killin lootin, rapin an a'shootin! repeat!

brought to you by adrion edmondsons balls of steal,
spinal tap,
dune,
not being able to sign on because ones fingers are glued to ones neck

lots of love
elrositter x x x x x x x x x x

friday 13th, shit is that why i've had no signal till frigging now?! or. upcoming friday night in rum madness.

2009-02-13T12:12:00.000-08:00

i've nought to say, was in a top mood this mornin. that soon turned to shit, i'm blamin friday the 13th rather than facin upto my real problems. gonna drink me some rum. balls to valentines aswell!

the locust squats upon the leaf, he's just biding his time. he surveys our world and thinks, one day this will be miieeiieeiieeiieeine.

brought to you by bad news,

rum'

n.w.a.

the 10 doctors

elrositter x x x x x x x x x

wed more snow, holy hell! or. a different headline altogether. or. oh frig its already thursday i'm a day behind!!!

2009-02-12T09:31:00.000-08:00

i don't know why anyone would possibly want to read this. . . . this. . . this. . these ravings! but don't let that stop you.

last night i dreampt about my favourite jumper. i bought it a couple weeks ago, it was reduced cos there were a few pulls in the material and its just gone into the wash for the first time. i dreamp i was taking it back to the shop to exchange it or somethin because of said pulls which were maybe worse. i found someone who worked there, a bloke with a fairly thin mustasche-the kind that leads down from the septum and reaches to two points, east and west. he was gingerish and shortish. i explained (probably) what the score was and he began to receed with my jumper. thats all i remember.

so the significance was what then? simply that i miss my new jumper? have i recently lost something else i want back? or am i just fucked in the head?! email your suggestions to- elrositterisoutofhistinymind@christisthislunaticserious.com

anything significant to report, YES!

i have just read some franz kafka, quite fascinating! existentialism, does anybody know anything about existentialism?!? certainly i intend to read more and delve into existetialism!

another thing thats fascinating-CHAOS THEORY! i know a little of this but very very interesting

ha ha.

brought to you by jumpers,

existentialism,

chaos theory,

and some other stuff

elrositter x x x x x x x

multiple exposure photography madness. or. tuesday words, and pictures three.

2009-02-10T10:58:00.000-08:00

these photographs were taken with a nikon 35mm film camera. as simply as i can, i am taking multi photos over the same bit of negative. so four (for example) shots or exposures one on top of another. the camera remains stationary ofcourse using a tripod. the slightest movement during a single exposure (see third picture down) and there is that seeing double effect. hope thats clear ha.

its fun and photography experimentation is good!

okay image one is four exposures.

and this would be 8 exposures

four exposures.

and the last is five exposures.

i think these are interesting anyways, not to mention the photo therapy of actually taking photographs.

brought to you by-

photo therapy,

tea,

elrossiter x x x x x x x

coach travel - awake, asleep. or. tuesday words two.

2009-02-10T07:32:00.000-08:00

After three hours sleep, hearty breakfasting and launching to the coach station, i began my northbound journey, leaving my brother and grand swindonian times behind. Drifting in, out, and around sleep whilst coach travelling differs much from travelling on trains or planes but is probably more similar to car travel. That confined warm, secure space you have. all but cocooned. You are warm and a little weary, everything around you softens, sometimes fading, becoming indistinct and distant. Sometimes snapping back into focus and drifting away again instantly. Night travel ofcourse increasing this floating feeling. The second leg of my northern bound journey from loondoon was all the more ‘floaty’ for want of a better phrase. Despite drinking a flask of strong tea I was drifting again within minutes, not being able to read more than a few lines of my book without my head lilting forward. But how psycological is this experience.
So clearly on the edge of sleep I put my book away, pull my thick coat as high as my head and lean into it ready to drift-off. At which point you don’t for reasons just slightly out of my grasp. After some time has passed you do but not easily as whilst slightly slumped trying to focus on the words in front of me. The shifting from the comfortable spot that you have settled into so completely and fully probably the key factor.
That limbo like area of sleeping awake, dreaming that merges with the present, sounds and feeling moving through the real and the felt of subconscious-ness. Exceedingly difficult to create but wholly wondrous to experience. Absolutely and individually unique, probably the reason it so tricky to describe so perfectly. But fun trying and remembering.

a shout to the dinosaur in the moon, fred-oh that cheeky fred, the easy confusion of sexuality and plushtix.

Brought to you by-
The usual cups o‘tea,
Kafka-investigations of a dog,
Alien and aliens

elrossiter x x x x x x

swindonia happened!!! or. tuesday words one.

2009-02-09T13:31:00.000-08:00

somehow i made it aaaall the way to swindonia with an hour stop off in loondoon. snow cannot stop us rugged northeners! was fucking ace seeing the guys and girls and i am immensely glad it happened! us four lads had muchos pub fun on friday, lovely local boozers provided us with ale and rum and that blonde drying parts of herself on that fire! saturday brought us feelin nice an hanging and going hunting for the cure of munch! then the girls arrived which was ace's, we had fajita wrap munch and beer, followed by hitting the local boozer which featured stowfords press, the hollies and one of the girls making a friend for life in fred! back to the house for some more boozle yes, tunes, and much talking till loooong into the night/morning. we also learnt some fascinating excercise techniques from one of the girls and leant many things from each other, too much maybe, maybe not. there was a couple of insidents of drama over the weekend but no permanent damage was done fortunately, possibly even increased bonding. sunday brought my return back up north. ridonkulously early on a sunday after a lush but rushed breakfast. caught my coach, two hours break in loondoon wher unfortunately i missed seeing my loondoon cockney brah, but i did see buckingham palace. so i can say i've seen that, not that it blew my tiny llittle mind or owt. nine hours later i was home, it was LUSH seeing everyone and i woudn't have missed it for the world! massive congratulations are in order for my brother for organising his upcoming photography mission/adventure! and for our favourite canadian lassy for getting her job! you both did ace, coudn't be happier for you both ;)

on an un-related bent.

arthur dent - no, listen. benji said its easy to suspect, that if theres any real truth, its that the entire multi-dimensional infinity of the universe is almost certainly being run by a bunch of maniacs.

brought to you by-
crossing the country and deffying weather,
metamorphosis-franz kafka
ian dury and the blockheads

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x

elrossiter doesnt know where his towel is! or. swindonian weekend, we shall see. . . . . or kellogs fruit an fibre YES!

2009-02-05T07:06:00.000-08:00

short one i think today'ish.

brief negative-technology and where we are headin terrifies the hell out of me, money confounds and also terrifies me.

positive (more so at least)-i do believe i have become addicted to kellogs fruit and fibre cereal! ha i have a massive bowl of it in the morning with a cup o'tea. not like a 'normal' person offcourse because i will pick out some of the raisins and put them pack in the packet or if theres loads i will put some in the bin. . . . raisins in cereal is wrong!! but i will struggle and fight my way through the chewy buggers happily. sometimes i'll have a bowl during the day but why do i find myself thinking about it so much!!! coincindentally i have just finished a bowl. i am happy to admit to being a weirdo.

if everything goes to plan i will be having a swindonian weekend at my brother joes! with cai amanda, natalie, ed and angela-not sure about holli.

brought to you by-
fruit and fibre ;)
richard farina
the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy audio book read by stephen moore

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x

been down so long it looks like up to me. or. A BIG MOAN-how the hells am i gonna blog if my compooter goes kerflooey?!

2009-02-04T07:37:00.000-08:00

can you blog via post? telepathy? guess i'll just have to talk to real people if my computer does eventually give up the ghost.

IF ANYONE SEE'S '''''ANTIVIRUS 360''''' DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE NOT TO GET IT ONTO YOUR COMPUTER!!!!!! IT IS THE SOURCE OF ALL EVIL, A CAD, AND THE KING OF THE KWONTS!!!!!! bastards

my state of mind has not been at its best over recent times-no job (largely if not entirely my own fault) no special lady friend, no moneys, not seeing friends as much as i'd like and spending much of january in the arena of the un-well. all in all i've been irritable, moody, frustrated and a douschebag. god what do i sound like?!

thoughts-

if you don't do anything to sort this shit out, it will not get sorted out!

further thoughts-FUCKING SORT IT OUT AND STOP BEING A BELL END!

writing works as outlet for me, so does getting sucked into a book, playing the ole bass guitar, my fine friends and good music/television. if i hadn't have been reading so many good books and listening to awesome tunes i would have gone over the edge loooong ago.

been down so long it looks like up to me is thus far a very engaging and absorbing novel, written at the end of the fifties by richard farina. like a cross between 'fear and loathing in las vegas' and 'the catcher in the rye'

i've had a moan and a feel sorry for myself now i'm stopping this whiny boofugginhoo post.

brought to you by-

richard farina

david 'the legend' bowie

swindonia at the weekend

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x

standstill, no go, stopped, kkrrk k. . . .breaking up. . or - enough snow in my garden to make a snow dalek!

2009-02-02T08:01:00.000-08:00

wow etc, most snow in eighteen years and we're expecting a second wave. london knackerd but beatuifull. blizzard conditions expected in the south east! its pretty crazy. offcourse its brung the country to its knees and is continuing to cripple little ole england here. a LOT of snow i know but we just can't handle anything at all can we really, i mean 'anything' at all. we're not equipped to cope with any sort of unusaul wether, situation, event or very much at all, hell if its raining heavyier than normal sheffield town centre all but immediately grinds to a holt! road, air, rail, sea-shut!

quite enough negative i think.

it is rather amazing to see so lets focus on that yeah

buh bye

brought to you by-

tea

anticipation of soul shredder tonight

elrossiter x x x x x x xx

second sunday blog blaster! its on kringer or, what the hell is kring?

2009-02-01T15:17:00.000-08:00

indeed what the zark is kring? the nation, if not the world screams the question. well now. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . it could be that it is a person of some persuasion-THIS PERSON-

kringer on the left.

or maybe its a company-

http://www.kring.com/

-looks like there changin there name joseph, nab the name before some fool robs it from your mits! but what else could a kring or 'kringer' be i hear you holler, perhaps it comes from 'tim kring' the charming chappy behind heroes. 'thats the one' i hear joseph screech, but i feel more investigation is quite nescassery, i mean-what if this is a raspberry to throw us of the trail. maybe a kring is a rare sub-species of vole. or maybe its the technically correct desciption for a circle of wooden hard backed chairs-

or michael kring, the little known but quite fantastically mad sci-fi author. i've rumbled you haven't i meester armstrong? come on admit? i won't exploit you i promise

well well well i think the kringing has been kringed as far as it'll kring, for you and me both. if i have to type kring one more time i may just not be able to take it!

thanks for laying down the gorntlet there dude, ha ha ha i enjoyed it immensley! who won?!

brought to you by the silly silly k word

steppenwolf

u.f.o

elrositter x x x x x x x x

on le poderosa man!

2009-02-01T07:38:00.000-08:00

christ its february! unruddybloodybelievable. the yell were ace, sheffield factory goodness. appart from dan making monkeys out of me and Leeroy, pitting Leeroy against Leeroy, the swine that he is. THE SWINE! next time dan. oh-ho next time sir thou'est balls'est shall but surely be placed upon the rack and lo, Leeroy and Leeroy shall but do no lessest than the rhumba upon them. and lo. . . sir, thou shall be but surely fucked. . . .est. add to that another chapter of 'woman confuse the living hell outof me' was that beautifull beautifull woman interested in me or was it a case of, hey whos that mental looking guy-boy does he look mental. who knows, do you? does anyone? i sure as shit don't!

ITS SNOWING, ITS ONLY DONE GONE SNOWING INNIT!

for lack of a more inspiring photograph to put into todays blog, here is a capybara snuffling in the water.

todays blog thanks-

bumping into james on the bus

the yell-the age of pursuit

alice cooper-spark in the dark

the motorcycle diaries

elrossiter x x x x x x x x

don't appologise!

2009-01-31T07:31:00.000-08:00

''warning'', contains personal whinnying.

its an end of january saturday. i'm recovered from mumpage, still jobless, treacleless and farely directionless. tonight the yell play a factory in sheffield, untill then i plan on spending much of saturday drinking tea, wearing a jumper and reading ernesto che guevara's motocycle diaries. yesterday i actually went job hunting and theres a chance something may actually come of it-which means i have decisions to make. like if i'm gonna get me a motorbike or motorscooter. i also did some photography! much much needed photo therapy. playin around with the ole multi exposure technique, greatly fun-more to be done lucky for me. some of which i may just post when i get em delevoped.

lately i've found myself thinking about old times quite frequently, the old student gaff at 51 Barrs court road. gettin in from workin at the pub with some newclear browns an stayin up talkin bollocks till 4 int mornin. steve living on the settee all year, busting the bathroom door down to make sure he's not choking on his own chunder. hanging with leila-oh that fantastic leila! an then there was that mental halloween when i bought that bottle of tequila, ho ho yes that was nice an messy! an all the randoms coming an goin. most of all offcourse my brother joe. getting to know the dude, us being the first two in the house. getting boozed, chillin in the frontroom, hangovers, him helping me out with dissertation stuff (especially that 'fun' night before hand in) hallucinating mist through the house at 7.30 in the morning. ha an teaching me about cricket! he taught me much. a shout out to joe, steve, leila, sarah, sarah, granty, georgie, jon, laura anne, an ed. our mental landlords jean an jeff. caff day! roll on next weekend, when a load of us visit swindonia to see brother joe! good times expected!

spaced-best comedy, sitcom, drama type program of all time surely!

'i'm in sheffield tim'

'sheffield, what are doin in sheffield?'

'fell asleep on the tube'

'but the tube doesn't go to sheffield?'

'must've changed at kings cross'

brought to you by-

the motorcycle diaries of ernesto che guevara
born to be wild-seppenwolf
mark knoppfler
these things take time-the smiths
spaced
and caffs!

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x

the wednesay blog doo dah day.

2009-01-27T05:08:00.000-08:00

some of my stuff, three completey unrelated photographs! medium format and 35mm nikon goodness.

Hereford in december.

Sheffield tinsley towers (deceased)

Hungover gentlemen in Bulgaria.

jus for the fun of it really. i think my loverly start to the new year january fun time mump fest may be at last entering the end game. and although it has been immensely enjoyable i may be forced to enter the real world again, be socially active, talk to people and here's the kicker-get a zarking job and earn so green! i'm in actual going out of my tiny mind not working and getting my hands dirty sounds pretty freaking lush right about now, monkey work-whatever. i shall write a conclusion to 'the saga of the mumps' when it is called for but for the moment i think i shall go make some dinner!

this blog was brought to you by 'komm, gib mir deine hand' and 'sie

liebt dich' the beatles sing in german-genuinely, i swear i would not blow smoke up your ass! coudnt believe it, well good!

you all be good boys and girls and robotronic entities now!

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x

sheffields finest pervaors of musical elloquants, ladies, gentlemen and robot forms of life i give you. . . . . jack and the beansprouts!

2009-01-22T16:23:00.002-08:00

in the wonderfull steel city itself, on a wonderfull thursday dusk, in a wonderfull shop of the clothing vintage, do take to the stage a wonderfull group of simply the most splendin of chaps!

and to conclude-my first night out in three full entire weeks of being most gravely ill-lots of wonderfull fun was consumed and all was but good. then me n'ian had haggis, hope we don't get indigestion. good good night.

elrossiter x x x x x x x x

elrossiters top five science fiction/horror.

2009-01-21T08:04:00.000-08:00

take two (bleedin technology)

okay so heres elrositters top fives. . . . . . . .

books-

1 the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy by douglas adams

2 consider phlebas by iain m. banks

3 i am legend by richard matheson
4 space by stephen baxter

5 k-pax by gene brewer

films-

1 the original star wars trilogy

2 the alien quadrilogy (more or less)

3 event horizon (come on sam neil)

4 terminator 2

5 the thing

telly programs-

1 doctor who

2 the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy

3 merlin, the one staring sam neil, helenna bonham carter and isabella rossillini

4 the prisoner

5 star trek voyager i spose ( from scorpion onwards, species 8472 an shit!)

characters-

1 the doctor

2 ford prefect and marvin

3 han and chewy

4 prot (rhymes with goat)

5 number 6

misc-

best radio programmes

the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy (the quintessential phase-mostly harmless, which i listened to today)

best album

war of the worlds, oooh nathaniel-reet good!

stuff that was considered

dimension of miracles by robert sheckley, brave new world by aldous huxley, lord of the flies by william golding,

virus, star trek first contact, stargate

stargate sg1/atlantis, threshold, x-files,

kryton, malenfant and nemoto, frik

so thats the shiz, i'm sure i've missed out loads of obvious stuff here but i'm ill so forgive and please don't hesitate to point them out or offer your thoughts.

elrositter x x x x x x x x x x x x

'apparently' monday the 19th of january is the most depressing day of the year. ho hum, sigh etc

2009-01-19T06:54:00.000-08:00

i want you all to know i'm feeling very depressed, not really (no more than usual at any rate) monday the 19th of january is the most dee-pressing day of the year according to all those wonderful experts, but don't top yourself it'll be tuesday tommorrow probably, i'm no expert in these matters. just have a cup o'tea and think about somethin else is my advise, tea is the answer to everything oh yes!

any hitchhikers guide to the galaxy/ian dury and the blockheads fans out there WON'T BELIEVE THIS!!!
http://www.hhgproject.org/media/Marvin_The_Paranoid_Android_-_Reasons_To_Be_Miserable.mp3

and more and more and more-

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://photopile.com/photos/Era_Galactica/auctions/189607.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.startrekfans.net/index.php%3Fshowtopic%3D27720%26hl%3Dmarvin&usg=__e8lG5XYWaVW9YHN2SgBwfOYt0uo=&h=540&w=530&sz=76&hl=en&start=19&sig2=1t3BoZadEj8-vuiiCvC0tQ&um=1&tbnid=E9DD7s1iCCQUeM:&tbnh=132&tbnw=130&ei=pph0Sc2cBZ3HjAeegYG4BQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmarvin%2Bthe%2Bparanoid%2Bandroid%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26safe%3Doff%26rls%3DRNWN,RNWN:2006-41,RNWN:en%26sa%3DG - how wonderfull!!!!

there are 'apparently' eight hundred and ninety eight active satellites in our atmosphere, do you think theres like a starbucks satellite or a scientologist satellite? maybe will smith has one, or like a wimpy satellite thats out of commission and fallen into an unstable orbit, it could fall on your house (if it didn't break up in the atmosphere)

imagine the wimpy satellite landing in your garden!

r.i.p. Tony Hart, he was truly a top bloke.

this blog is brought to you by grey shirts, the book 'space' by stephen baxter and the songs isolation by john lennon, isolation by iggy pop-featuring none other than david bowie! and quarantine by the cakes. i'm off to the kettle, bye!

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x

what the mumps do to a man, or, sorry if i go on a bit, you know how it is!

2009-01-16T13:17:00.000-08:00

hey has anyone out there ever had the mumps?!?

mine kicked in about 11 days ago and have all but gone now, leaving me with 5 more days of isolation as i am still contagious! 25 years of age and i get the bloody bleedin mumps, after being so so carefull my entire life aswell..............this is my story.............

it was but a regular and ordinary monday in the month of january. anything could happen but 'anything' hardly ever does, theres a pub but the regulars are barred (sorry thats john cooper clarke) so anywhere i'm minding my own beeswax (as you always are when something extra ordinary happens offcourse) when out of nowhere i am accosted by a horriffic and utterly terriffying mump! (unfortunately it escaped the encounter un-photographed so we'll have to make-do with this artist extrapulation)-

when suddenly faced with this 'mightiest of all gods creatures' i am left entirely unable to act in any way or form, so the blighter jumps me and sinks one of those mighty daddy teeth into me, just below my left ear. the skin instantly swelling in an alarmingly explosive manner to 3 or 4 times its normal size! so ole mister mump, having infected me good, leaves me looking the double of popeye the sailor man and makes a leisurely escape chuckling leisurely to itself and flipping me the bird! only pausing briefly to light a cigar then saluting in an Unnecessarilly sarcastic manner, it rounds a corner, leaving me in a crumpled heap, truly used and indeed abused.

a week and four days later the infection has left me and i am drinking my first beer to celebrate, all be it alone in isolation. oh but next time i will be ready for you mister mump, oh yes sir! oh yes, your goin down!

on a seperate note, (if you haven't already) check this out for good listenin! and guten tag

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=351225563

Elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x

2009-01-14T14:33:00.000-08:00

Some multiple exposure tom-foolery that is quite fun! more of which i shall be certainly be doing soon!

http://http//uk.youtube.com/watch?v=v2S6IMmwFmY

how good is this?!?

for some good tunage/musicage/sound/noise and for all your cuttlefish related needs visit-

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=351225563

R.I.P. Patrick Mcgoohan

todays bag of random was brought to you by 'not doing anything constructive' and the musical genius of the hollies and pulp.

Elrossiter x x x x x x x x x

the mental dream i had last night.

2009-01-12T12:46:00.000-08:00

Okay so i'm tryin to remember as much as possible here.

right so we were on some sort of vast never ending expanse of water but it just doesn't quite seem as if its a sea. there were a few of us but i can no longer distinguish indivual people. okay so where on this massive expanse of water that stretches from horizon to horizon and where holding onto these 'poles' that are almost perfectly vertical, i don't remember looking up or down and didn't see the tips of these poles so as far as i know they go on forever. now the poles themselves didn't seem to have any notches or footholds on them so i believe they were basically featurelles.

so i think what we were trying to do was work out what the hell was happening and were moving about through the water, exploring on our poles, we i think occasionally ran into someting sort of hanging and maybe coming out of the water-like seaweed but clear and more artificial. i have the impression that we werent just people, but were superheroes or others (like in the night watch trilogy i just read) with some funky abillities-although we werent using them. two of the clearest things i remeber-the first was coming across what i'm pretty sure was a large strip of cellotape reaching straight up from the water to an unseen point above us. it was as if it was from a comic or book holding two pages together but it wasnt flat like a wall because i litterally travelled into it and it was clearly solid and 3D. the other thing i remember is before i woke up, there were now only three of us, two of which were going forward but the other woudnt, she said something like she didnt have to risk herself for others-i remember this woman was/or someone very like faith from buffy the vampire slayer (geek sorry!). so the two caontinued to move forward and then stopped as we noticed a man coming towards us (possibly out of some mist and also travelling on a pole offcourse) he was slightly over weight and was wearing a black suit with a white shirt and black tie. i had the impression he was an ordinary human and had sinister intentions and wanted something from us so i asked him. then the bastard alarm tore into the real world and that was that.

WHAT DO YOU THINK TO THAT THEN?! i love these insane dreams.

x x x x x x xx