Friday, 16 January 2009

what the mumps do to a man, or, sorry if i go on a bit, you know how it is!

hey has anyone out there ever had the mumps?!?

mine kicked in about 11 days ago and have all but gone now, leaving me with 5 more days of isolation as i am still contagious! 25 years of age and i get the bloody bleedin mumps, after being so so carefull my entire life aswell..............this is my story.............

it was but a regular and ordinary monday in the month of january. anything could happen but 'anything' hardly ever does, theres a pub but the regulars are barred (sorry thats john cooper clarke) so anywhere i'm minding my own beeswax (as you always are when something extra ordinary happens offcourse) when out of nowhere i am accosted by a horriffic and utterly terriffying mump! (unfortunately it escaped the encounter un-photographed so we'll have to make-do with this artist extrapulation)-

when suddenly faced with this 'mightiest of all gods creatures' i am left entirely unable to act in any way or form, so the blighter jumps me and sinks one of those mighty daddy teeth into me, just below my left ear. the skin instantly swelling in an alarmingly explosive manner to 3 or 4 times its normal size! so ole mister mump, having infected me good, leaves me looking the double of popeye the sailor man and makes a leisurely escape chuckling leisurely to itself and flipping me the bird! only pausing briefly to light a cigar then saluting in an Unnecessarilly sarcastic manner, it rounds a corner, leaving me in a crumpled heap, truly used and indeed abused.

a week and four days later the infection has left me and i am drinking my first beer to celebrate, all be it alone in isolation. oh but next time i will be ready for you mister mump, oh yes sir! oh yes, your goin down!

on a seperate note, (if you haven't already) check this out for good listenin! and guten tag

Elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x

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