new books for elrossiter!! or.buffalo and bison. bison and buffalo thursday

i'm not blogging much am i. no real and/or profound reason why not. wow that was thrilling!!!

i have dicovered-



i present to you the dresden files by jim butcher -applause, fanfair, balloons, a child handing me a flower etc. so its a modern day fantasy/detective/character driven/real world trying to deal with magic/chicago based romp, in my own words! okay so it hasn't exactly created it's own sub genre through originality but theres certainly enough there for it to be plenty interesting and apppealing. our hero being the wizard harry blackstone copperfield dresden whom is trying to pay the rent by making available his highly specialised services-

HARRY DRESDEN — WIZARD

Lost Items Found. Paranormal
Investigations.
Consulting. Advice. Reasonable Rates.
No Love Potions, Endless Purses, Parties
or Other Entertainment

-this's all sposed to be in the middle but the twat won't have it!! its on a plaque next to his door. the other main character is lieutenant karrin murphy. harry's expertise are often called in by the 'old bill', by murphy who is the director of special investigations and harry is their 'libary of the supernatural on legs'. i love the relationship these two have, which at times is extremely shaky. they sort of need each other. harry also has a massive cat called mister who we like.


anyway trust me its good, do as i did an get the first from yer local library enporium and look for the next few in the series in a cheap bundle!


aye so storm front ofcourse being the first in a series of many. borrowed from mi wonderful local library emporium yesterday and read three quarters of it. this's my favourite kind of easy/fun readin that i can sit down with anywhere and just tear through it. the perfect escape book! i mean i love joseph heller and irvine welsh to pieces but sometimes you just need somethin thats doesnt require you to remember a million characters and previous events. catch-22-love it but you need full concentration for hours on end, with storm front-read on the bus nee problem.

okay so its got a good premiss, interesting characters you care about one way or another and a good story you can think about. perfect trash,in the best way! theres also a tellevision series which may be great but i'm not gonna watch it cos i'm always slightly disappointed and i much prefer imaging the characters an that for myself anyways.



what else have i got to say. i'm doing the photography for mi mates night 'no uniform' tomorrow so that'l be good, bands, dancing, getting drunk etc. got a job interview in the mornin for a crappy clothes shop so hopefully that'l go well! and rewatching the eccleston doctor who's-which are absolutely fucking brilliant!




brought to you by, jim butchers dresden files,
echo and the bunnymen,
avoiding doing anything usefull,
tea

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

inspired by no smoking in the skullcave friday. or. easy monay!

thas right, the newly discovered most excellent 'no smoking in the skull cave' and becca thereof have inspired this-



Im the darkness in the light
Im the leftness in the right
Im the rightness in the wrong
Im the shortness in the long
Im the goodness in the bad
Im the saneness in the mad
Im the sadness in the joy
Im the gin in the gin-soaked boy

Im the ghost in the machine
Im the genius in the gene
Im the beauty in the beast
Im the sunset in the east
Im the ruby in the dust
Im the trust in the mistrust
Im the trojan horse in troy
Im the gin in the gin-soaked boy

Im the tigers empty cage
Im the mysterys final page
Im the strangers lonely glance
Im the heros only chance
Im the undiscovered land
Im the single grain of sand
Im the christmas morning toy
Im the gin in the gin-soaked boy

Im the world youll never see
Im the slave youll never free
Im the truth youll never know
Im the place youll never go
Im the sound youll never hear
Im the course youll never steer
Im the will youll not destroy
Im the gin in the gin-soaked boy

Im the half-truth in the lie
Im the why not in the why
Im the last roll of the die
Im the old school in the tie
Im the spirit in the sky
Im the catcher in the rye
Im the twinkle in her eye
Im jeff goldblum in the fly

well who am i?





and many thanks to becca for zi inspiration!



today i stood 'like a tool' for four and a half hours outside the sheffield arena queuing for u2 tickets. they most certainly were not for myself (i have no desire whatsoever to see the ole pretentious, world saving, tax dodgin bono and his crew) but for mi dad. he is a long time fan, as in before bono started on his crusade etc so i'll forgive him that. an easy way to earn this weekends beer credits anyways! BEER FOR ELROSSITER-YES!


brought to you by the twice mentioned blog above,
hopes of an amazing weekend,
the divine comedy,
american psycho

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x

some bad shit wednesday. or. please don't say crack jeremy, cos when you say crack it makes me think about crack. and i love crack!

whats goin on out there man? theres some fucked up shit on the news (as per) a bloke convicted of rape and murder has been discovered after 27 years of incarceration to be innocent. so who the fuck did it then?! the bastards been walkin around for nearly 3 decades like a normal person! i don't know.


on a less depressing note, the colour of this yogurt is fantastic! its lemon and passionfruit and looks luminous-maybe its the soft light. the suns been good this last couple days, hell i put shorts on yesterday!! whew i know, i know. hope this weekend goes well, lookin forward to seein mi old college friend.





peep show man seriously-its sooo good. feckin funny funny stuff!


Mark - If you ask me Skywalker was bloody lucky to get away with turning off his guidance system

"Note to self re being the Fonz. Mark, you are not the Fonz."

sophie - Mark you said she was a nuckle head and to nuckle down or you would nuckle her fat head.

Jez - This is good. This is just like watching a porno, except I can't see anything, I haven't got a hard-on, and I want to cry...

Jez - I wish I was a robot, maybe I could punch through a wall (to Mark) 'How thick is wall?'


brought to you by getting nothing of importance whatsoever done,
dune messiah,
mitchell and webb,
the loverly sun

elrossiter x x x x x x xx x x x

monday back to ink, paper, tea, garden, diary bloggin, elrossiter, broken computer, oh my, what, i dunno, who are you. or. computer bust=slow blogs

thas right cats i'm not dead (you can't trust the headlines nowadays can ya?) my computer has merely temporaraly flown the coop (bust that is)

i am currently blogging from the darnall library. and boy am i gonna become a regular here! so little time so much to unnescasary rubbish to fling at you!

was interrupted from my dream this mornin by a fone call-consarn it idle (shakes fist at sky). was on my back garden which looked like a weird birthday petting zoo type affair. cages with rabbits and guinea pigs and groups of people. some nob ead put a pit bull in with the rabbits but there were no casualties! i had a little moan about it and was about to go upstairs with a lovely lady i had been with, i think she a cross between to birds i know but i can't remember which one. was rudely awoken anyways, just before i got to the good stuff yamean.



how awesome is peep show?!?


why does flying around the planet at unheard of speeds thus making the planet spin the other way reverse time and not just send everyone flying into space or liquify them?! still good though

brought to you by tea,
darnall library-thankyou thankyou,
supes

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

you could spend the morning walking with me quite amazed. or. as i am unwashed and somewhat slightly dazed

Spy, spy, pretty girl
I see you see me through your window
Don't turn your nose up
Well, you can if you need to, you won't be the first or last

It must strain you to look down so far from your father's house
And I know what a louse like me in his house could do for you

I'm the cream
Of the great utopia dream
And you're in the gleam
In the depths of your banker's splean

I'm a phallus in pigtails
And there's blood on my nose
And my tissue is rotting
Where the reats chew my bones
And my eye sockets empty
See nothing but pain
I keep having this brainstorm
About twelve times a day
So now, You could spend the morning walking with me
Quite amazed
As I am Unwashed and Somewhat Slightly Dazed

I got eyes in my backside
That see electric tomatos
On credit card rye bread
There are children in washrooms
Holding hands with a queen
And my heads full of murders
Where only killers scream
So now you could spend your morning talking with me
Quite amazed
Look out, I'm raving mad and Somewhat Slightly Dazed

Now you run from your window
To the porcelain bowl
And you're sick from your ears
To the red parquet floor
And the braque on the wall
Slides down your front
And eats through your belly
It's very catching
So now, you should spend the mornings lying to your father quite amazed
About the strange Unwashed and Happily Slightly Dazed.




unwashed and somewhat slightly dazed elrossiter x x x x x x x x

wednesday i knew that was gonna happen! or. whats that kringer doing in my dreams, get out get out get out!

wednesday afternoon drinkin tea, listenin to pulp-now that we've got the pleasantries outta the way. lets get on with it, what do you say? whatever


so one of the two things has gone tits up which i was secretly expectin but hopin woudnt happen! means i can go massively on the pull though if the mood takes me. plus it allowed me to just nip to the shop to buy a snickers (get some nuts an all that) and lucozade with a pathetic portion of the dosh i was savin. so whos the winner really. . . . . . . . . .



mr. T obviously.



had two dreams last night. i know for a fact that they were both mental and in-depth but frigged if i can remember much of em. one featured 'the infernal kringer' himself. i can picture in my head what was goin on but describing it is another matter. but i'll have a go-

he was doing something that was almost like some twisted deformed olympic event. he was going over some ground, indeed gliding over it (in the manner of peter pan), and carving out lines. two parallel lines that curved and went back over themselves all over the place. i used the word carving earlier because he was using one of those pronged pieces of cuttlery used to to transfer freshly carved meat onto hunger peoples plates. we may have been on mountain because at some point there was snow and ted from scrubs (again with the dreaming about scrubs!) went carreening down a slope. i can clearly picture him in a heap, see him jacket, tie, face and side hair! yeah i dunno what else.


the other was a docotr who dream 'cough' geek! 'cough'-

its frustrating to buggery cos i know loads'a stuff kicked off! there were these robot guys. and they were new york taxi yellow with clunky torso's but the heads were the interesting part. they just swivelled round with no up or down and were kind-of put together in a make-do sort of way. we'd (i don't know who 'we' are) done somethin earlier on to alter their evolution an they weren't how they should have been, think they should have been some magnificent race or somethin. i could av been playing the ole doctor i'm not sure, the master was there though! with his beard and all. at another point we were at this place and there were these largeish pedestal/almost throne type jobbys with these alien guys at the top. the alien guys were semi immobile and dependant on these jobbys they sat in. me an the master were there and on these things were bars of chocalate which we climbed to get at. the chocalaye was lush an we climbed several for the different bars, the alien guys got slightly alarmed and nervous but coudnt do frig all about it so that was that.

lastly a bit in the depths of space. the master was in a small shuttlelike craft, quite like one of the vipers from modern battlestar galactica. he was hoofing it from a fleet of ships he'd obviously pissed off/screwed over/generally been evil to and was heading for what must have been a gateway to another part of space or maybe time. it was a series of rings one behind another. but he wasn't quick enough and was stopped by another ship (tractor beam or summat) while partly through and pulled out inbetween two rings. it looked good in my head. . . .



roger delgado


that is all.


brought too ya by pulp,
lucozade,
michelle shocked

elrossiter x x x x xx xx x xx x

chest hair tuesday. or. infact no-chest hair tuesday it is!!

apparently tom jones has insured his chest hair for 3.7 million pounds. i think thats brilliant!

but does that mean he could go an shave it off. . . . then make up anything he blummin well wanted to?!



coudnt bring myself to put a picture of im with the chest out. your welcome!



i heard this wonderful story by mr jones on radio 2 the other month. he was talking about elvis presley right because they were buds or whatever. apparantly the king was a bit of a gun fanatic and had quite a few, because of which the f.b.i. had to give him a liscence. to make it easy for him to carry guns across borders e.t.c. so elvis 'the king' presley was an official f.b.i. agent! how cool's that! mr jones still has a gun engraved with elvis' initials that he gave him. i think thats cool. you may not.


brought to you by whats new pussycat?
insuring parts of your body why not,
amsterdam by bowie

elrossiter x x x x x x x

the muchly anticipated bill drummond/echo and the bunnymen spectacularrrr. or. all that copying was a nightmare

lets start with a-

zimbo zimbo zimbo zimbo zimbo

and continue with a-

chunky thighs


Finder and original manager of echo and the bunnymen and the teardrop explodes. Wordsmith. Million quid burner. Justified ancient of mu mu. Scots man. And good ole mentalist. It is ofcourse if you haven’t already guessed BILL DRUMMOND! his writing style is such that no matter what he’s talking about you are completely absorbed, nourished and entertained.

Writing this has suddenly become such a burden and is rapidly losing its fun’ness so I’ll only keep goin until it starts grating.


Okay so the book 45 is fantastic to say the least. Entitled so because he put it out at the age of. . . . from the shores of lake placid is a favourite when he’s talking about the beginnings of the bunnymen and the teardrops on Mathew street Liverpool. The cavern club etc. at one point he is being interviewed by some journalist on a train about said bunnymen and just decides to give his mind free reign to say what it will. And it does.-

it’s the interstellar ley line. It comes carrering in from out os space, hits the world in Iceland, bounces back up, writhing about like a conger eel, then down Mathew street in Liverpool where the cavern club – and latterly erics – is. Back up twisting, turning, wriggling across the face of the earth until it reaches the uncharted mountains of new guinea, where it shoots back into space. Deep space. You know what ley lines are? Those things that hippies are into, imaginary power lines across ancient Britain, lines that can be traced by saxon churches, stone circles, burial mounds, that sort of stuff. But just boringly straight and static. Well, this interstellar ley line is a mega-power one. Too much power coming down it for it not to writhe about. The only three fixed points on earth it travels through are Iceland, mathew street in Liverpool and new guinea. whenever something creatively or spiritually mega happens anywhere else on earth, it is because this interstellar ley is momentarily powering through the territory.
Whenever the bunnymen do a brilliant gig, we know its because they were on the line. Sometimes its only there for a couple of songs. Sometimes it pumps down through one bit of thee world for a few days, even a couple of years. . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I make light of what I have already said. But inside my head I’m going, ‘ofcourse, it all makes sense: interstellar ley lines, why had I not realised before?’ another part of my brain is going, ‘you fuckin eejit Drummond, get a grip.’

-brilliant. Another fascinating, mad, entertaining, gripping bit of this section is Drummond talking about the ‘echo’ character-





the bunnymen are understandably asked, whos echo? And will, mac and les answered ‘our drum machine’. With the benefit of hindsight, I am sure that with their answer my relationship with the bunnymen started to take a dark and possibly dangerous path. They were wrong. Echo was not the drum machine. I knew even if they didn’t, that the real echo was something to do with the devil rabbit that balfe had illustrated for the sleeve. A character named smelly elly had come up with a number of imaginary band names, including echo and the bunnymen.



He then proceeds to the library and goes on mad tangents to find this echo character assuming the bunnymen reffered to his followers! He then eats through religion/myth/tribal books and comes up with echo the greek mountain nymph and a mythical hero of the alonquin tribe of red Indians of northern Canada. His name was klustave and he can take the form of a hare or rabbit to travel the world. There was also a nomadic Siberian tribe with a rabbit spirit who, in some way, was involved in regeneration. Then he discovers the concept of the trickster which he gets very caught up in. anyroad the echo character keeps appearing in one form or another on the record covers. Its all brilliant stuff-go read it I’ve had enough of typin!!!


Okay one more thing. On julian cope-

Julian had a new band every week, each with a manifesto, a built in history and a moral high ground. This weeks band was called the teardrop explodes. I instantly knew this was the greatest name for a band I had ever heard.


okay i'm done an i ain't checkin fer typo's!

the heaven up here album is amazing, i love the teardrop stuff i know, bill also goes on about sych things as, travelling, art, soup and scotland-its a fuckin genius book. please read it or don't, i no longer care.
good night!


brought to you by anchorage,
crap technology,
show of strength,
over the wall

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x x x x xxx x x x x

been dazed an confused for so long its not true mondi. or. new week, new life?

there are two things kicking off for me this week. if they both come off as i hope they will, it will be a freakin sweet week! hell if one of em comes off it'll still be pretty damned freakin sweet! fingers crossed man.

i had two dreams last night an i can only remember a bit of one. i woke up at some point thinkin-woof! gotta get that bad boy down a.s.a.p. so lets see if it comes back to me.

god i think thats it fer the moment. except. . . . . whats a googlewhack?!?!? and no ''you can get cream for that you know'' remarks cheers mate ta!


and because this post REALLY needs an image-





brought to thi by john paul jones,
the hulk,
waistcoats,
pancakes

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x x x

first things first but not necessarily in that order sunday 30. or. thank the gods i'm hungover thirty!

do you know what yer gonna haveto wait for the drummond/echo fest cos i've not got it in me to write it all now!! i can hear the millions of you now, weeping and such-not much longer, keep yer pecker up!!

yes you read correctly. i am indeed happy to be hungover. not because i'm some sort of sado masachist-thats got nothing to do with it! but because it means i went out last night and didn't stay in the house moping about getting massively depressed and frustrated! it was good, i got drunk on pints, had some good chin wagging, stan made me laugh with his whistling along to the tunes, basically i escaped for a bit which was prexactly what was needed.


what else. . . yes ha ha ha another dream! you lucky people-

okay so we were going in search of the 'brown rhino' to yaknow save it sort of thing!! we were in new zealand (the home of the brown rhino?) hmm. . . there was a small group of us, which included tony robbinson, TONY ROBINSON KIDS-YES! we were in a hilly dry area and i can really only remember sliding down a hill and the end of the dream. which was when me an tony spotted the beasty. he slid down a hill which turned up at the bottom into a natural ramp. he took to the air and splashed down in a smallish pool of water which was where the rhino was at. i followed and landed in the pool, sinking to the bottom. i tried to swim up but didn't make any progree, then i woke up-presumably so i didn't drown. tony robinsom though folks!






time for sunday dinner!!!!

brought to you by tony robinson,
david bowie,
pints of beer

elrossiter x x x x x x x x x xx